Thursday, December 30, 2010

oh the pain...

My body hates me.  Everything hurts... stiff, achy, acute weird pains even. Congested and draining.  I awoke this morning with very puffy swollen eyes and face. 
just the truth.

I did not intend to express any regrets about my choices this holiday.  I have eaten freely of things I 'do not eat', vaguely trying at meal times to make moderately good choices.  But often I made blatantly poor ones for the sake of vacation, family, relaxing, being 'out of my element'...
My belly doesn't swell up and bloat so obviously; my digestion seems good to me.  I don't believe myself to be gluten or lactose intolerant. But I. FEEL. AWFUL.

Knowing that I was hitting the rum cake and cookies pretty hard, I was determined to hit WOD's reasonably hard as well... I mean I'm not trying to completely let go, and besides a new gym/new people - enticement to put up respectable efforts.
I had a few PR's on weightlifting this week, but I'm paying for it. My recovery is ... absent.

Sigh... it is obvious to me that I am a sugar junkie, and I'm far off the wagon. Rehab will commence soon, but not soon enough.  Why do I crave and almost compulsively munch at things that are clearly destroying me, and am SO happy to do it?  Friends, I ask this repeatedly.  The answer is we are in a fallen world and we have to fight for everything true, good, beautiful... and healthy! Lord, help me. I'm reaping my just reward now.  My body has no strength but I'm re-awakening.  I still want beer!  I still want beans and cake and wine and peanut butter balls and pizza! Even as I feel like death.

A new year is coming- renewed strength of will.  This was both fun and not - time to move on.
But I pray I remember this clearly so I won't be so arrogant at my next 'break'.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Family Fun

ah. nothing like being home for the holidays...

hung my rings from a tree.... if I could muscle up they would be helpful there.  The brothers gave me a boost to get some dips in.
taken by Mike... check out

We did some pseudo yoga diving pushup stretching in the yard... good times, then had a grappling match in our Christmas Eve fancy clothes. Mom called the match off, but I think judges would conclude Mike's victory.
My brother Chris tried to teach me some Tai Chi...  observe me not following  ->

And of course there is playing with the children and the 30's of Christmas time conditioning as my commitment for another 2 weeks.  I can get them in together... squats with the babies.

These have been nice little breaks from my perpetual indulgence ... the list of which is topped with RUM CAKE!  I did hit a mild sugar coma Christmas Eve, but doing better.

Being with family is a good stabilizer.  Life is what it is, but most of all it's worth living.  There is more beer to come for me! Hopefully I can drop in on the local crossfit Monday and gladly take the just recompense for my choices.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Week's Activity & Braving the Elements

Here in Southern California we are quite spoiled with temperate weather... So when it has been dumping rain for days what's a girl to do?  Get out and play of course!  Right... I'm usually Little Miss Adventure, but this weekend I had no desire for that.  Effort and Committment - that's the best I got right now... In the words of Holly would if she could... Show up and Try hard. 

Friday Rest Day! Appointments, dinner and fun with an old friend. and I did not get my own WOD in.
Good thing I have Christmas time conditioning as my insurance- I can relax as my schedule fluctuates all over the place and at least squeeze that in everyday.

Saturday 3 rounds, 10 weighted pullups (~18lbs) + 30 Back extensions = 5:33  woohoo. 1st two rounds pullups unbroken.  For some extra conditioning tabata wall balls 10lbs = lowest count 8 or 10. I forgot.

Sunday   The rain came and I chose a workout that would let me stay inside- 3 rounds: 15 hang power cleans, 15 burpees... Rx was 105 for ladies, but I, not so gracefully, managed 95 lbs.  This really is not much fun to do alone, but I did it. 14:20

This is what a hang power clean should look like. 

Mine were something between this and catching the bar in a squat, which is the problem... need to work on my squat flexibility.

Monday:  The rain continues.  The Pull up bar is outside.  Oh well, Quite fun pulling this one off. AMRAP in 20 min: 5 chest to bar pullups, 10 ring dips, 15 Overhead Squats (65 lbs) = 4 rounds + 5 pullups. 
AND a break through... This is so embarassing, but sometimes when doing pullups I feel like I am about to pee my pants. Seriously, it's this uncomfortable feeling that my insides are about to explode.  It freaks me out.  Once it happened during "death by pullups" - after doing the peepee dance for a while (to crazy sideways glances I got from my wod buddies) I ran to the bathroom... only to find I didn't really have to go!
Monday I had this same awful sensation with the ring dips... but break through because:
1) I did not pee myself  - that's my fear when I feel like I'm about to ya know!
2) I mastered the sensation and was able to rise above it and finish my workout.  It was a minor victory to stop the freak out in my head, and to realize it's just a strange feeling my body makes that I can push through.

Tuesday:  Still raining! Fortunately for me today was inside - Back Squat Day!  I love back squats (as long as no one tries to spot me - Dear Lord, I hope that never happens again.)  And I hit a PR!  190lbs easy peasy!
I am hopeful about this lift that I will be able to raise that number quite a bit.  (shoulder press and deadlift... eh, not so much.)

Wednesday and following:  Yes Still raining.... I'm catching a red eye tonight, but I hope I will be able to let Brian run me through a WOD before I go.  Once I land in Sweet Home Alabama I'm in unfamiliar work out waters.  In my family our exercise consists mostly of getting from the couch to the dining room table and back ;)  And really that's a little bit what the holidays are about... just being together.  So I'm going to try not to be TOO anal, just get something in most days so I don't get grumpy.

Planning for the Journey:
1) Packed the RINGS and the JUMPROPE.  Hours of entertainment right there.  Need to work handstand pushups and pistol squats as well and that doesn't require equipment.

2) Found out the time to join a local running group... hope to make a 10k distance.

3) Will drop in at the local crossfit and hope they are friendly.  Thus far no response to my messages.

4)  PLAYING with my nieces and nephew... that's good cardio.

5) There's always the YMCA ;)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas Simplicity

I think I must just be spoiled rotten, but this is the simplest Christmas ever.

1)  Baking - Maybe food is so much of the holiday spirit: baking and such.  Of which I have done none. I don't need the temptation and I'm sure the people I might make things for will get plenty of junk food from other sources.

2) Gifts - My sister has single handedly managed all of my family shopping.  She loves to shop and may have over done her budget. So I took the opportunity to simplify my life, help my budget and hers by buying gifts off her.  Awesome.  I don't have to shop, I don't have to worry about transport of said gifts.  I just show up, write her a check, do some wrapping and Voila!  Done... Stress avoided, Spirit of the Season preserved with focus on family time.

3) Decorating - Ok it IS a little depressing, but I live in my office.  If I were going to be here for Christmas then maybe I would have bought a tree and made it more festive, because I love a place that is warm and inviting, but I'm not going to be here. and  Let me add to this that in my grown up single life I have lived in at least 10 different places and had probably more than double that number of roommates...  I have shopped for decorations many times, received countless ornaments from students and friends, and I don't think a single item of Christmas decor has made the journey with me to this place.  I am sorry, but I am happy not to spend money on decorations once again that will inevitably get left behind in yet another move.
So YAY for me, one more way to simplify Christmas in my life this year.
The only decoration I made was my Advent "Wreath" (and even that came out of things I already had in my decor with the exception of the candles.)

A little light to remind me that Christ the light was born so that I may have life.  The candles remind me that there is hope.

I dare not hope that your Christmas preparations have been so easy, but I hope you have found peace and meaning in all the things you have chosen to take on.  In all the frustration of family, and impatience while shopping, and exhaustion in cooking and cleaning.... please remember how much you love the people you are doing all this for, and remember how much they LOVE YOU!  If something doesn't get done... who cares?!  They want your health, happiness, and quality time most.

So my friends, I pray we will each be kind to ourselves and others in the days ahead, taking time for quiet and gratitude for just how much we are loved, starting with sweet baby Jesus. all "8 lb 6 oz, in his golden fleece diapers, playing with his baby einstein mobile" - take some time to thank Him and to love Him.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Randomness & Alexander the Great

When you set out to conquer (achieve is a better word for our culture) do you question, why?  Do you weigh out all the reasons and desires with your head and heart and prayerfully consider, "Is this a worthy conquest?"

I do, but not faithfully.  Sometimes I just want to conquer.  I want to triumph. I don't want to count the cost or the worth of it. I just want the victory!  Charming.  Valiant.  Impressive. And Foolish.

Over and over. I have done this. Some times I succeed and that's great for a moment, and sometimes fear creates my failure and gives way to shame.

Alexander the Great.  Great for his massive conquest - which would have been even more massive if his troops hadn't rebelled.  He held it together; his whole life conquering more and more, but he died far from home, only to have his empire divided by civil war within a relatively few short years of his death.

He "conquered the world". Would he have ever been satisfied?  Was there a vision?  Was there a purpose other than his own glory?  Sure, he spread Greek culture which was a legacy for the areas he conquered in life.  They gained something from it I'm sure.  But why did he do it?  From eternity, would he count it worth it?  Does he regret not having loved more? Not having lived a peaceful life and happy life in ensuring the prosperity of the already strong nation he had inherited from his father? It was strong. It was beautiful. Ultimately, was he happy?

And Me. I am not Alexander the Great.  I self sabotage and bolt in the face of potential "failure".

Except when I don't.

I am a stubborn and determined girl.  I'm not particularly talented.  Seriously. I'm not being humble; it's true.  There is no prodigy about me. But I have loads of passion and life.  I work hard - I do.  I pour my poor little heart into life so much that I so often FEEL completely passionless and lifeless and loss of all motivation.  Conquering, or Striving,  and never satisfied. It's never enough for me.

ENOUGH.  I say it's enough now. I'm tired of being a sieve with all the beauty and joy spilling right through me... others see it in me but I don't feel it, own it, live it.  It's time to be a reservoir.

"If you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir than as a canal.  A canal spreads abroad water as it receives it, but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing, and thus without loss to itself it shares its superabundant water" - St. Bernard of Clairvoux

What does this have to do with Alexander the Great?  I don't know really, probably it's not a real correlation at all, it's just something about conquering for conquering's sake and never being satisfied... someone told me I had an Alexander the Great complex and it led me to these musings here.

If I will shift and live full - not letting my peace and joy pour out from the bottom but over flow from the top - then maybe I can continue to bless others, to triumph, to suceed, and to LIVE fully and freely without fear of the fallout from within.

If I will be triumphant I want it to be for true glory, from my fullness not my grasping.

I hope you are living fully today... soaking in everything about your life and journey that is beautiful, noble, and true... and sitting with it... FULL. grateful, joyful, peaceful, bountiful.   It can't help but overflow and others will be better for it too.

Week's Activity with Travels

Yes, I've still been at it. Refreshed to be back in my happy place, my original crossfit box, CF rio rancho.
That's where the magic began ;)
Thursday= nada flight to Nuevo Mexico

Friday = Skill work Clean and Jerk sets of three at 75,80,85,90,95 and... 3 round 250m run +12 DB thrusters (30lbs) in 6:09

I loved loved loved being back with my old wod buddies.  Vanessa and Melanie kick @#$ and inspire me, so I'm humbled that I can push and inspire them too.  Excitement overtakes reality because I finished this WOD 1st even though I went from sea level to 5,500 ft.

Saturday= Team WOD each team member completes 30 deadlifts, 30 boxjumps, 30 Kettle bell swings, 30 burpees... no one moves on from their station until the whole team is finished their work.  One person had to wear body armor throughout. At the end we relayed 100m farmer's walk each (carrying 53lb kettlebells).
My team finished first again - I'm not competitive.  I was so surprised that the farmer's walk was so hard... maybe I've just never carried that much before.
Pics of lifts never show off a pretty face.
Right. There are no pretty faces while lifting.

Sunday & Monday Rest and Enjoy Vacation - Eat, drink, be merry. Come home and reset.

Tuesday = 10-5-3-2-1-1 Shoulder press at lbs-45,55,65,75,80,85 then 3 rounds: 10 deadlifts + 30 GHD situps = 5:50 
My over eagerness at CFRR caught up with me, coupled with too much sitting on a plane and driving, leaving my back not so great... so only 45lbs on the DL's

Wednesday = 30 burpees and 100 double unders bookmarking this shoulder-centric WOD: Standing Press 1-1-1 (max 80), PushPress 3-3-3 (max 105), PushJerk 5-5-5 (max 110)
Then all together twice SP1, PP3, PJ5.... 75 & 85 lbs.

Begin 30 day challenge... 

Thursday = will be weighted pullups and back extensions. but my hands are feeling quite blistered and bruised for some reason ... so we'll see how I pull this together.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas Time Conditioning

It's possible most of us will partake of some treats this season that are less than optimal for health, fitness, and performance (or perhaps we already have).

Here's an easy challenge for a little extra conditioning.
For the next 30 days add 
30 situps, 30 pushups, and 30 squats each day 
to your regular routine.

Break them up if you need to, but get them in.  Your body will thank you later.

Ready. Go!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Cuppa Tea with Love

I have made the switch.  I actually love my morning tea.  6 months ago,  I could not imagine life without daily lattes or flavored creamers.  6 weeks ago, I couldn't imagine facing a morning without coffee and coconut milk, bitter sweetness.  Now I have done it; I love herbal tea.  THIS one in particular is my most recent delight.

It's spicy sweet and has freed me of needing coconut milk or sweeteners as well. Awesome. 

Me living Caffeine Free = 
End times must be near or We are in an Alternate Universe. 
My mind is blown

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Roasted Delightfulness

Peel and dice:
1 Butternut squash
1-2 Sweet potatoes

(I never chopped a butternut squash, I don't know why I was surprised to see it look like this inside...)

Toss pieces with EVOO or oil of choice.
Lay out on a baking sheet.

Bake on 400 about 25 min.
(Next time I'm trying 350 for 35-40min)

Mmm... Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Half Week's Workouts

21-18-15-12-9 Snatch(65lb not 115lb), Wallballs (14 not 20lbs), Knees to Elbows =  25:09  

I haven't done wallballs in a long time.  I really struggled to get the rythym of them on the 1st two sets.  Thought I gave myself a black eye for a short time there.  But alas, I am resilient.
I broke up the 1st three rounds quite a bit, but no all out stops between the round of 12 wallballs and the end. 
This is the first time I have ever snatched in a WOD.  I'm happy with 65lbs for this amount of reps. I should be! My one rep max is only 85 lbs.
My snatch form was probably not great throughout, but there were several short sets of the snatches that I felt really strong - where my mental game was zoned in, focused and positive.

Tuesday sore, sore, so sore. Good news- my lower back does not feel too sketchy; it's my arms and my neck and buttcheeks.  Today, quick lunch workout. 
4 rounds: hill run 200m, 25 squats, 15 V-ups = 8:50

Wednesday 3 rounds: 400m run, 15 pullups, 50 squats, 15 pullups = 13:30
All pullup sets unbroken.  I'm happy with that.  Next time stronger on the squats.

Thursday travel day = rest day?

I'm going to be out of my patterns for a long weekend and I'm so excited. 
Excited to drop back in on Crossfit Rio Rancho and let them demolish me at altitude, visit friends, and relax. 

Pumpkin/Butternut Cookies & Muffins

Nobody bakes like Mama's.  Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception, so in honor of my Mama Mary, I decided to bake a paleo treat!   The verdict is out... no one bakes like mamas and I obviously am not a mama.
Ah well.  This is what I did.

At 400 for 15 min.
1 1/2c Pumpkin (I used a pie pumpkin. I just baked it like any other squash, then Pulled out the flesh and mashed it up)
3 tbs agave nectar
1 egg
2 egg whites
1 c. coconut milk
1 c. chopped walnuts

1 c coconut flour
1/2c almond flour
1 tsp baking powder.
2tsp Pumpkin Pie spice
1 tsp cinnamon

They were ok, just dry.  Coconut flour is still hard for me to cook with.  It sucks up all the moisture so I find that I have to double or triple the amount of liquid ingredient to try to make it balance. Almond flour seems much better for baking to me, but it is more expensive.  I've thought about grinding my own, but haven't taken that step yet.

This is what I did the last time that came out so much better, as Muffins actually
1 1/2c  butternut squash
3 tbs agave nectar
2 eggs

1/4 c. coconut milk
3/4 c. chopped walnuts
1c almond flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp Pumpkin Pie spice
1 tbs cinnamon
Inspired from Everyday Paleo

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Stuffed Squash

Great Fall Meal
Preheat oven to 350
Cut squash in half (acorn or other)
Pull out the insides.
Place flat side down on baking sheet with water.
Bake 40 mins.
Flip over and stuff with cut apples coated in cinnamon
and ground turkey or breakfast sausage
Bake 20 min longer.


Monday, December 6, 2010

Salad Variation

This is one of my FAVORITE go to's:
Tomatoes, Cucumbers, EVOO, Crushed black pepper
easy peasy!
Add grilled chicken breast = balanced and delightful meal.
World Market sells the best tomato basil flavored oil... mmm.

snuck a few raisins and almonds in this one because let's face it, I'm an addict.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

It takes 2 days

Note to self:  Don't get so excited, or frustrated, about the apparent non-effect of poor dietary choices right away.  Give it 2 days, you will inevitably notice your body is not pleased.

I indulged in the standard munchies provided at my girls' night Friday... processed or baked grains and sugars. Why?  I don't know - depressed apathy.  pride. whatever.
Saturday, I enjoyed my leche chocolata. Whether from that or from my great workouts,  I was euphoric. I topped it off with a cocktail.

Sunday, I felt run down and like I'm getting sick.  I know I'm not sick - My body is just displeased with me.

SUGAR... sugar is my weakness and nemesis.  I have been too dismissive of that and loving the raisins and dates lately too... Ok. I know my enemy and I hope I will be more vigilant.

I have a few vacations coming up soon - a perfect opportunity to 'make an exception'
Let this be my reminder that those exceptions will not come without consequences.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Chocolate Milk?

Yes! Chocolate Milk!

Chocolate Milk: The New Sports Drink?
Check it out. 

Today after the best WOD ever I went for the chocolate milk.... deliciousness.

I waited to see if it would bother my GI system before Workout 2 and....nope! just deliciousness. (I confess to being a little annoyed sometimes that my body doesn't exude intolerance for things I have cut out of my diet. Oh well. That is another topic.)
A while back I watched a series of interviews on crossfit about nutrition.  Boz went around interviewing HQ's trainers and athletes about what they do.
Zone, Paleo, and the "I eat whatever I want" diet from BA Spealler.

I was surprised how many of the athlete's had chocolate milk as their post workout nutrition of choice.  The idea was dismissed of course.  "I'm not allowed to do that. I'm sure there's a better way."   Actually I'm terrible about eating anything post WOD.

I was speaking with a friend just the other day who has recently been to a nutritionist.  She came highly recommended - PhD yes, but also a body builder herself she knows very well the science of our bodies and how foods affect them.  She actually recommended chocolate milk as recovery - it has carbs, proteins, fats for all the nutrients to absorb properly and post workout is the best time to have added sugars or carbs because it's when metabolism is highest.
Maybe, it's not necessarily best for looking the cuttest, but for just recovery and well being. 

I don't think I will make this a daily habit.  I still think it's too much sugar, and that dairy is going to keep a fat layer on me preventing the definition I want, but boy did it make me feel happy today.  I will not feel guilty for make this choice every now and then, particularly on heavy days or double WOD days.


Chicken breast, spinach, mashed sweet potato
Delicious Spinach!

In a skillet:
Carmelize Onions in EVOO
On low heat,
Toss in some sundried tomatoes
Add about 1/8 c Chicken broth
Add a few handfuls Spinach
cover and steam for a few minutes
Top with some crushed walnuts.

Week's Workouts

Pic compliments of CFBD
Monday:  Sick day... pretty much just a warm up: few sqats, jumprope 3 min, muscleup practice etc.

Tuesday: "Annie" 50-40-30-20-10 Double unders & Situps= 8:19 a new PR!! My double unders are back and getting better. It pays to practices skills.

Wednesday: AMRAP in 12 min of 3 deadlift, sprint 100ft or so, 10 one legged squats, 20 double unders, sprint 100ft or so... 5 or 6 rounds I lost count. 
I did 45lbs on the DL while trying to be kind to my back (Rx was like 225lbs, ha!) This is the first time I did one legged squats without holding something for support.  I am very pleased.  My left leg is weaker and I come up on my toes more, but not bad.  I'll take it!

Thursday:  5 rounds 400m run + 7 Dumb bell thrusters = 12:28 
Did this one at home using a treadmill. Only 26lbs DB's (52lb total) on the thrusters. I don't know why I hate dumb bell thrusters, they just feel heavier than the barbell, but they were like butter compared to the run.  I was able to do all sets without breaks.  The breather came getting the treadmill on/off

Friday:  Deadlifts 5x5 = 65, 85, 95, 115,  135 and Front Squats 5x5 = 65, 95, 115, 135, 145.  Tabata ring pushups for extra conditioning = 6 (lowest count) 
A few notes... today was sort of a light day.  I figured I haven't rested this week so it's ok not to do a WOD.  2nd, I haven't been lifting much in the last month, and I want to start bringing it back and testing how I feel.  Since aggitating an old back injury a 2 mos ago, I have been mostly conservative with the weight I've done.  ESPECIALLY on deadlifts.  Today I just wanted to see how it felt and more importantly just to lift some weight.

Saturday:  3 rounds: 10 muscle ups, 10 forward rolls, 20 one legged squats, 20 yd Handstand walk... 19:55  not Rx.
I was so so excited to try this.  Even though I can't do a muscle up nor walk on my hands, I didn't care.  It looked so fun and it's a challenge in the ways I love and I LOVED IT!  I want to do it again and again until I can do it right.
  I did muscle up transitions that were really more like a jumping dip. but on the last round raised the rings over my head for jumping MU's.  front rolls I love!  dizzy dizziness. One legged squats I'm getting better.  I'm just still stoked that I can do them at all! 
Handstand walks have been showing up more and more lately.  I think they will be at the games this year.  I think the farthest I got between falls was 5 hand steps.  I'll take it!  All of it.  I don't care that I was falling all over the ground for this workout.  It was awesome. 

Saturday later:  1 rep max each
Power Clean 125  PR
Bench Press 115 ( think I might have done more if I had a spotter. safety first yo)
Overhead Squat 105  PR

Happy, I feel really happy right now. This was a good week, with a great great fun WOD to finish it off. I'm lifting heavier again... little by little. I think I might just rest tomorrow!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Six Pack Experiment- one month

I've done nothing out of the ordinary in the last month that would help me get better abs.  Just 95% paleo eating and a moderate amount of crossfit.

The tummy has gone ups and down with the gastrointestinal tides and lady bloating.  Actually to give the most fair comparison I should take pics in another 3 days or so; however, just now after a work out and after a few days of deliberate light eating I am feeling skinny and encouraged... so here's the pic.
better? same? worse?

Hmm... maybe the same?  Maybe a little puffier.  Pic's are good for comparing.
I thought this experiment would be strictly "will paleo give me a 6 pack?"  without really changing how I exercise or adding any ab specific work. But if I'm going for a 6pack, then I kind of want to commit to go for it and work for it - not just wait around another 10 months to see if the paleo/primal/eat clean program does it on its own.  Decisions, decisions...

"What about Core?"  There's a crossfit video on it.  Crossfit doesn't do a lot of ab work in the way people usually think of it... situps, crunches, etc.  The core muscles of our bodies are designed primarily for stabilization - so you are really working your core muscles in a functional way when lifting weights, and everything else we do, by stabilizing your midline, i.e. back and abs are contracted, tight and stabilized as you work/lift.  This prevents injury and builds core muscles.

This is what I meant by I'm not going to do anything out of the ordinary. But I actually kind of love traditional ab work.  situps, V-ups, GHDsitups, Lsits, Knees to Elbows and feet to bar, bosu ball work, (flutter kicks I could live without).

I've always been a situp princess.  Actually, a couple months ago a trainer thought it would be a fun warm up to have us do max situps ... He had to cut me off at 600 so we would have time for the work out.  Maybe that's why I'm like a tree trunk in my torso? hmm... I digress.

Since I actually like that stuff, and a six pack is sort of a loose goal I have, I'm considering looking for a 6pack focused program to work on. Looks like I have some research to do.  I'll let you know if I make any progress on that. Really, I think diet is HUGE in looking so cut.  I'll probably just have to stay with paleo and be more conscious about my salt intake.  Wouldn't hurt if I drank pure-er water too.  Just some thoughts.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

It's a girl thing

I've told you that I am all over the place these days.  ONE factor in that is just being a girl.
I have been questioning how much the female cycle really affects us...  In a culture that can be somewhat androgynous, and dismissive of our gender differences, some times I forget or question how much of what I'm feeling is real and how much is just in my head.

Well friends, yesterday morning, right on time, my monthly guest arrived.  I awoke this morning 1.5 lbs lighter, with my measurements coming back toward normal  (36, 29, 31.5, 37.8, 22.5... two inches down compare)... geesh... and I feel worlds better. 

Of course I have been eating very light for 2 days (with the special intention of a safe delivery for my friend. While fasting is good for me. I will not go hungry for my own sake).

But I am certain now, there is definitely something very true and powerful about the rythym of my femininity -
the swelling, water retaining, hormonal genius. 
My food cheats this last month may have made it worse... which is a testiment to the eating clean approach.

It helps to know.

So take heart my lady friends.... there is so much more going on in our bodies than just what foods we are putting in and what exercise we are putting out, while that is very important.  Don't lose heart when you think you've blown all your efforts.  Patience.  Surrender.  Just stay the course.  Peace.  All will be well.

In the meantime, just a word of warning don't google image search 'girls only'... so unnecessary. Really, world?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


I think it's natural to feel a pull to fast after a feast, and feast after a fast.  In addtion to the primal instinct of facing times of plenty and scarcity as natural, we've also had centuries of feasting before fasting within the religions of the world.

In the Catholic Faith, which is my home, we have fasting seasons of lent and advent, which are proceeded by Mardi Gras and Thanksgiving, and followed by feasting at Easter and Christmas.

These are times to voluntarily go without all the richness and comforts we enjoy every day.  There are SOOO many spiritual benefits to fasting - when we aren't so self sufficiently meeting every comfort we allow God to bless us to show us how much He wants to do in us and for us, to transform us in our emptiness. Because let's face it, when we are full we don't want more. When we are comfortable we don't seek, Every person is inclined to pray more when they are suffering and life is hard than when they have it all picture perfect. Any ways....

A dear friend of mine is expecting her 1st baby... a week ago.  She has been uncomfortable for a long time now.  I decided that I would fast until baby is in her arms.  Fast - meaning go without, deny my wants, as a sacrifice, the grace of which can be applied to her. We are united, and in a way 'bear one another's burdens'.

Having gained 3 lbs and 5 in over the last few weeks, skipping snacks and laying off the paleo treats (raisins, dates, paleofied baked goods) will do me no harm.

In fact, there are actually physical benefits to fasting.  Intermittent fasting shakes up and wakes up our bodies a little bit. Check out the primal view:

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Day 3 billion 63 sans coffee

look at how nice it looks.... how good it could be!!
It's official. My attachment to coffee is just an emotional nostalgia... like the way I've been treating food lately.  Trying to some how fill in my sadness with something that makes me feel good for a few minutes.  This is a very good awareness that I am still vulnerable to this fault.  I am grateful for this.

This morning I decided I would have a cup of coffee.  I dug out the french press, steeped and poured a cuppa.  Blah!  It didn't even taste good!! I took two sips... and a third just to be sure, before proceeding to pour it down the drain and fix myself a cuppa mate' herbal tea.
Good bye, coffee.  I will be able to move on with less lamentation for a whiile.

It's like an exboyfriend.  Every now and then when you are lonely you think of him again.  You wonder, "what if" and "maybe we are different".  You contact him, and inevitably within a conversation or two you are perfectly renewed and satisfied in why things are the way they are and that he is NOT the person for you.  You let him go again and even though you are still alone, it is a little more bearable knowing that your life is not a mess.  God has something great for you, and the road you have been on is not aimless. It's part of the journey.

So coffee, thanks for the good times we had.  I am happy now to let you go.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Week's workouts & accountability

Monday: don't remember and apparently didn't write it down.
Tuesday:4 rounds: 400m weighted run (14lb), 12 Push Press (75lb), 12 lateral jumps (12-15 in?), 12 SDLHP + KBswing (35lb) = 20:26  Thank God for buddies to push me through this one.  My shoulders were j-e-l-l-o
Wednesday:  4 rounds of:  100 foot Walking lunge w/35lb DB held overhead, 30 double unders, 30 pushups, 10 Handstand push-ups = 25:05
Thursday: "Jackie" 1000m row, 50 thrusters (45lb), 30 pullups = 10:28 PR for Rx...
Friday: run 4.5 mi, warmup stuff in the park: pullups, pushups, handstand walk
Saturday: Rest, Relaxation, and Football!
Sunday:  Run 2 mi, Muscle up practice, Tabata Pullups (6), Ringdips (2... jumping. ha!), Squats (17)  Finish up with Lsits: 10 sec on/off 3 rounds on rings, 3 rounds on bar

Burnout, Stress, then adding Turkey Day, Friends and Fun - excuses to test out how "cheats" affect me.  I felt GREAT about them at the time. let me remind you! but Check this out - Measurements:

November 10th:  Chest =36.25", Waist = 27.5", Abdomen = 30.5, Hips = 37.5, Thigh = 22.5
November 29th: Chest =36.5", Waist = 29.5", Abdomen = 31.8, Hips = 38.25, Thigh = 23

Three weeks, friends... three weeks of exerting my independence from the whole 30 prescription and a 5" gain.  I'm telling you it's annoying that I can think about breathing out of line and gain weight. (ok that's dramatic.  Truth I did WAY more than just think about it... heeheehee).  Oh well.  Here we go again.

need a new solution

Note it has also been 3 weeks that I have been without my precious laxative... I mean COFFEE.  Can I have it back now please... my skin is no where near clearer either.  

I'll come up with my plan of action and resolutions next time.  Now it is definitely time for bed. 

Get off the couch... or out of bed in my case

"Exercise gives you endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.  Happy people don't kill their husbands.  They just don't." - Legally blond.

There you have it my married friends... go get your sweat on :)

It's hard to know what exercise is appropriate when you are sick... it's the rest - effort continuum that baffles me.  If you have advice on this one, please feel free to weigh in!!
Today, I declined the most heartwarming workout invitation I may have every received - "you, me, and whoever, we're working muscle up technique.  you're going to get one before Friday!"
A trainer after my own heart, and alas in a 'morally responsible' awareness I opted not to potentially infect the whole gym with conjunctivitis (dramatic... it's probably just a reaction to sleeping with my contacts in, nonetheless... my eye balls are neither functional nor pretty). 

So what do I do?  Guess I put aside my dramatic 'death by mini bar' thing I've got going on here (added sickness of my own making) and get my rear down to the garage to work my muscle ups any way.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Post Turkey Update

There are four drafts of gratitude/thanksgiving things sitting in the line up... but they never came out quite right.  While I am sincerely thankful for so many things, the litany and musings seemed shallow and empty.  So I'll leave the thanks for prayer.

Even now I am foggy and lacking direction for this blog... I could post about fitness and food... but there are so many other things weighing on my heart that those just seem like vanity and a distraction to me right now. Sorry.
I have been feeling lost, insufficient, hopeless, rebellious.

Update on the bloated pancita - 2 full inches above 'normal'
This has been the longest, weirdest, hormonal, crampy, bloating, gassy, constipated, moody month. I'm considering drugs... or just therapy.

Update on the Six Pack Experiment -  demolished.  will have to reset soon.  I am thinking about hitting strict whole 30 again after new years. I think it will take several months if not a year of eating that way as a life style to get the abs. Mark Sisson in the Primal Blueprint says that a six pack is a 'natural side effect' to going primal in your diet... hmmmm... I'll read the book next month and we'll see about that mr. sisson.

Meanwhile, Food and friends have been great consolation.  Honestly, if you compared my diet to other "paleo" followers I am finding that I comply far more than the average.  I've gotten the most heckling, if you can call it that... maybe oggling is a better word... about my diet from fellow crossfitters... they are baffled at how strict I have been.  I consider paleofied baked goods a little bit of a guilty pleasure and cheats.   At their encouragement I've lightened up at little.  I had a beer last week... Oh my it was the best beer ever! And I had minor cheats on Thanksgiving day, and major cheats at the Notre Dame/USC game Saturday - woohoo!  Victory Notre Dame.  It was great to eat a hot dog and churro and have hot chocolate in the cold and rain.  I rounded out my rebellious spell with a green tea frappaccino this morning... It. was. great!
Honestly the frap was the first thing that hit my stomach in any immediately noticeable way - yay dairy.  yay for poops!

I know I posted rave reviews about the whole 30 plan last month, but I have been a little confused and lost with it to be honest.
I don't notice dramatic changes... I still feel fat sometimes. I'm not a super hero.  Nor have I noticed dramatic negative effects when I deviate from the program.  It's all very subtle.  Some times it is hard to choose to live dramatically different from the average American and see such miniscule advances for it. It's not really all that hard to live that way; I haven't lacked discipline, but I was just so SAD. really. I live and work virtually alone and my world was revolving around my food and cooking.  All my fitness goals began to look like just new opportunities for failure, and as injuries and chiropractic/massage bills are piling up I began to question whether my goals are really even very healthy.

A little background:  I returned to Southern California this summer - I was terrified that crossfit was really something more for the season of my life in new mexico.  I was terrified to let it go and wouldn't even think of it.  I got certified to train myself and others, hoping that would be my niche in the world... and then I bought the dream that maybe I could be a really good crossfit athlete, and thought maybe after this year I could move back with my family in alabama and open a crossfit there.  Well, needless to say that dream was very short lived, like so many other bright ideas I've had...

Now, I have been here 6 months and I'm not doing all the things that made SoCal wonderful to me in the past - everything that made me think it could be my dream life to be back here again... sun and sand and waves...
first because the ocean was cold, and training became all consuming, added to the fact that I have few friends that are avid beach bums like me, and I was dating someone who didn't like to put his feet in the sand.

Well, the relationship ended. I eventually pulled back on training formally to 3 days a week.  And for a month I've been kind of floundering emotionally.

I've been pretty depressed and wondering why I'm even here at all? and if not here where should I be? I continue in this thinking, and before I know it my whole world and purpose for existing is all crumbling and I am lost.

Well, to hell with it. Let it fall apart, so I can build something new, so I can come back renewed and blessed. My life has been a series of heartbreaks, disappointments, confusion, and searching... and I've had so many great adventures with the agonies.  I'd rather not live a half life, so go ahead, shit, and hit the fan. God is great with mess.

In the meantime, I am back to diet loosely as prescribed. Crossfit as prescribed 3x per week.  More time for friends and family coming up on the schedule - YAY! And piece by piece getting back to things I've loved before and new things I've been longing to try. 

I guess all this babble is just to get me writing and posting again, and for what it's worth... down times are just part of life.  There is no prescription for perfect happiness all the time, whoever says there is is usually selling something. (Although I think joy can be cultivated through gratitude and the realization of our belovedness... yeah I'll keep working on it.)  Even if I were the best I could be, I'd find something wrong with it and that is a real shame.  Step 1 ... isn't that acknowledgement?

"I am trying to understand how to walk this weary land, make straight the paths that crooked lie, Oh Lord, before these feet of mine.... When my world is shaking, Heaven stands.  When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands."  JJ Heller

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Grateful Day 2 - Being Outdoors

What a beautiful world we have - being outside, just breathing in the fresh air, feeling the gentle breezes, lying in the grass or just walking and watching the clouds. Oh! and the wind in the trees... my absolute favorite sound.  I would imagine they were carrying on quite a conversation - the wind and the leaves. 

Today at lunch, I had no one for garage gym class, so I took a walk, prayed a rosary, and soaked in the beauty of the blessing.  I sit at a computer for at least 8 hours a day (death by desk job, might be the title of my life if I were not such a fighter)... sigh, what a release to be outside!

Reminds me of the Camino...  Once upon the most beautiful time of my life, I walked across Spain.  33 days. Just walking. All I needed on my back (or purchasable en route).  It does the heart good to close my eyes and go back there to the simplicity, the freedom, and the glory of it.

Thank you, Lord, for time to just be outside today.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Grateful Day 1 - Curry

I didn't think I would post about food this week, because I decided that I should only post about things from a positive, grateful place.  I have had nothing nice to say about my cooking or food in general lately, so I thought I would skip it... however, tonight my curry was tasty.  I am grateful my curry was tasty.  Tip for next time - spinach was  good choice, use more spinach and skip the bell pepper.

3/4 can coconut milk
1 c water
1 sweet potato (skinned and microwaved 3 min)
1/4 chopped onion
1 chicken breast (pre cooked and chopped)
2 big hand fulls of spinach
1/2 jar of green curry paste
few shakes of yellow curry powder
1 slice bell pepper (DON'T do it!)
cook over medium heat, stirring until veggies are your choice consistency... mmmm!

Thank you, Lord, that I have fresh food to eat and water to drink.  Thank you that I have a warm place to sleep, and a kitchen to cook in.  Thank you that I have been met with warmth and love by so many beautiful people along my way.
As I pilgrim I have to say... Thank you Lord for clean clothes, a shower, and rest for my feet!

Sunday, November 21, 2010


I feel like I have a balloon in my belly...  It may not look as bad as it feels - and smells.  (We're talking hellacious gas, I'm sorry to say.) But there is a difference: 1 whole extra inch across my belly button and it's crampy and uncomfortable.

 I really am at a loss for what is causing the reaction.  I ate out 3x this weekend, which was a break through for me in not making myself a recluse for the sake of 'paleo', but I honestly can't find much suspect in the choices.  Help!

1) I baked this last week... but there was about another pound of this mix that I have eaten.  Maybe too much brussell sprouts is the culprit. I mean, the gas thing has been present since I started eating on this. 
There are also snap peas in there, which maybe are a legume and so really not a desirable choice?

2) the Yerba Mate'  - I know that it is supposed to be very healthy for digestion, but I am still suspicious of it.  I like it though, and don't want to be prejudiced toward it, so while I don't drink it every day, I've still been drinking it, including today.

3) Dining out #1 Friday, Souplantation - I stuck to the raw veggies with oil and vinegar.  I ate two big salads, but didn't put anything unusual in it. I did have a bite of lemon mousse though; it was not worth the bite.  It was probably cream based with artificial sweetener.

4) Dining out #2 Saturday, Barbeque:  I went for salad again with Italian dressing and Brisket, no sauce....

5) Dining out #3 This afternoon, Chipotle:  Chicken 'Salad' (it was more like a burrito without the tortilla)- lettuce, peppers and onions, chicken, salsa, and guacamole.  I eat all of that at home.

6)  Paleo "Cookie Dough" - so good. This is actually just extra crust from my paleo cheesecake the other day.  I thought I would make it into a snack bar or cookies, but before I could figure out what to make with it I ate the whole tupperware raw. It was delicious, but maybe not a good choice.  Ingredients: almonds, dates, coconut oil, almond milk, baking soda, vanilla, and an egg.  It's been in my fridge since Thursday. Maybe raw eggs don't keep that long.  (Not to mention I should know better than to eat raw eggs, but I like it, and I figure if it was ok for Gaston, why shouldn't it be okay for me).
Well, if raw eggs don't keep, then I should throw out my homemade mayo from last week too.

I have no idea where the problem is, but I would like A LOT to avoid it in the future. Ideas?  Where do you think the problem is?

Perfectionism & Week's Workouts

Monday  4 rounds: 3 DL 135lb , run 200m, 7 65lb OHS, run 200m = 11:37
This was supposed to be an AMRAP wod, however, my ever so sensitive lower back was not responding very well to it. For the sake of making an injury that much worse it was capped at 4 rounds.  Thanks, Brian, for helping me pull the plug on my ego.
Victory of Monday was the 1st jumping muscle up - woohoo! 
Tuesday  5 rounds: 35 double unders, 50 mountain climbers, 200m run = 23:30
This was torture of my own creation... I ran through it with a friend on my lunch break.  Double unders are my nemesis.  But the only way to get better at double unders is to do more double unders. 
Wednesday   Hang Power Snatch Practice: 45, 65, 75, 85, 90 lbs(fail!) rounds: static hold 30 sec each: handstand (assisted by a wall), squat, Lsit, chin over bar =  we didn't keep total running time, but stopped time every time the hold was lost.  One of Wed's victories was 10 jumping muscle ups!
Thursday 100 burpees for time = 8:50 
Friday  Helen (3 rounds: 400m run, 21 KBswings 35lb, 12 pullups) = 9:31
I hate Helen.  Last time I did this wod I had an asthmatic break down afterward and was sick for a week. (Amanda did too so I think it was something in the air.)
Despite whatever was in the air that day, I hit a PR of 9:43 with 53lb.
I really didn't dare try 53lb this week with my back as jacked as it's been. 
Saturday  Feeling a bit alone and lacking any motivation to do anything. I took advantage of the fact that I really didn't have to do anything and stayed in my PJ's until 5pm, at which time I ventured down to the rings for some muscle up practice, dips, Lsits, and roll throughs.   It's hard stuff. I can't do it for long so it's good to get ring work in warm ups as often as possible.  
Sunday Rest Day 2  brief handstand pushup practice (REALLY need help here) and some stretching

Perfectionism can be a strength... it can keep me pushing and striving and doing noteworthy, or at least some what inspiring, things.  However, I have the sense that it is not true balance, health, life, freedom - the things I want. I know my own perfectionism is one of my worst enemies - covering up the shame of just not being enough. I HAVE to get over that, and this is part of the journey.

I was really annoyed that on the 2 workouts this week that I have records for, I didn't set a new personal record - it was silly, I know.  I've been at this for over a year and a half; my improvements are going to be subtle and my records harder for me to break.
Not to mention that there are a lot of factors that go into performance at any given time: diet, fatigue, injury, immune strength, wardrobe, distractions, more competition, hormones, the mental game...  Some days I don't bring my 'A' game, because I'm just tired.

I remember reading an article in the crossfit journal that listed the top 10 mistakes of crossfit athletes. One of them (and it may have been #1) is not resting. I rest, but maybe not as effectively as I could. The article seemed to promote taking a week every now and then where you take it easy... not do nothing, but lighten the load for a full week, scale back... as a proactive movement towards long term improvement (AVOID BURNOUT).
I don't get this message very well.  It's really hard for me to put my ego aside. So I stay set back longer than maybe I would have to, if I would pull back BEFORE i get injured.

In my pride and vanity, the awareness of my limitations frustrates and defeats me. I see all too easily the times I didn't, couldn't, shouldn't have, and I dismiss the things I could and did!

I hope that my performance curve looks something like this (and I just hope that I'm on one of the peaks when it counts).

Yes, there are set backs and down times, but I come back stronger and I'm always moving in a positive direction because I won't be defeated and I won't give up.  I may call a retreat from a battle, but the war is far from over.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

More Food

Leftover Chicken veggie bake with salad

Snack: Almond butter with Veggies
I try to keep a big tupperware of washed and cut veggies in the fridge for quick grabs or quick cooking: celery, carrots, bell peppers, zucchini. Otherwise I will reach for nuts and raisins or dates when I'm feeling munchy- this snack is a better choice.

Also a couple times a week I'll make a dish to serve 4+ people - then I get to eat off left overs for a few days.  This way I won't make a poor choice if I am too tired or busy to cook. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

aches, pains, and personal records

My body kind of hurts.... my hip flexors have been so tender that I've been avoiding the foam roller in denial of the pain. My right arch has been aching. Shoulder/rotator cuffs ok presently, but muscle up practice irritates them and as soon as we start hitting more shoulders' WOD's they are likely to flair up again.
Back... oh dear. My never ending injury. I have an arthritic/degenerating disc at my 5th lumber - my back muscles spasm and freak out when they think I might be pressing the vulnerability too much.
Okay Okay body... I'll rest a bit. Ice and biofreeze, here we come. Tomorrow only furpees, I mean burpees.

Good news is today I practiced hang power snatches... 85 lbs! Not a bad start. I didn't have a record and I am very happy with that one.

And ten jumping muscle ups... Yes! Power up!  ... I want a real muscle up by next Thursday!
very pretty OHS compliments of Crossfit Black Diamond

It's a fine line between disciplining the body and abusing it.  With the way I have been eating I feel like I am working with, not fighting against, my body.  I'm not trying to manipulate it, or manipulate my food and exercises for yoyo results, abusing it with binge-ing, then lashing out at it  for not being different than it is... Finally I am working with it,  trying to give it what it needs for fuel to be it's best.  I need to take that to the fitness realm as well - knowing when to pour cold water on my pride and ease up or take a break.
Today that meant being satisfied with the 85lbs when I failed 3 times on 90lbs, and being satisfied with the 10 jumping muscle ups when I failed 3 times on the hanging ones.  Monday it meant turning an amrap WOD into a 4 round WOD (4 min. short of the intended time.)
It's all a journey... listening to my body I "live to play another day" in the words of a great trainer.  Less injury, less frustration, fewer set backs.  Always moving forward, at a healthy pace.  That's the goal anyway :)

"Many of the benefits of a strict and disciplined "healthy" lifestyle
can be compromised by a perfectionist mentality."
 -Mark Sisson . The Primal Blueprint.

Hungry in the Morning

I generally eat breakfast just before or as I'm starting work in the morning... about 7:30. but the last few days I feel like I am insatiable and within 45 minutes need a second breakfast.

Physically, no problem. Really I can eat as much as my body asks for of Paleo/Primal/Real foods without any fear of 'getting fat' or blowing my goals.
However this is problematic because I need to work, not be eating all the time because I'm hungry all the time - hmm...

I think I will try a little test for the rest of the week. I need to fast for some intentions anyway. So I will stick with the Zone rule of only eating every 2.5-5 hours. If I am hungry an hour after eating - oh well. I'll drink more water (I certainly need that) and hold off just another 1.5 hr.

Really, I think this little extra discipline will serve body (which thrives on being a little hungry sometimes), mind (so I can get my mind off of food and onto work), and soul (Matthew 17:21).

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Muscle up Monday

For the last few months it has been a goal to get a muscle up by Christmas... no, by Thanksgiving... no, Christmas... the date waivers depending on my confidence of the moment.

What's a muscle up? Observe. The man with the flairy shirt & killa moustache is in honor of Movember.

Muscle ups are not something I can work on for hours - It's really taxing on my shoulder/bicep/tricep region.  I make a few attempts and then walk away.  Yesterday I got my first jumping muscle up!!!  -
With rings about 1 foot overhead and me jumping into the transition.
Yay! Hooray! Mazel Tov!  It's not even the real thing but it's a step, and I am excited!

I could only get about 3 or 4 mixed in with my warm up, and I was wasted on them. Once I get a little more solid at that, the next step is to raise the rings a bit... trying jumping into it from the greater distance & try kipping into it from hanging.

Why muscle ups? Because with the strength & conditioning gained through muscle ups - pretty much if you can get a hand up on a surface, you can climb onto it... the amount of obstacles in life diminish.
and I pretty much want to be a ninja.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day 8 sans coffee

This is a fun observation... for 3 days in succession I have awoken before my alarm. I was able to get out of bed renewed and tranquilly... not with loud chiming or noise making music from my alarm.  I've even had time to lie there and take my time getting up before I actually need to be up.  PRICELESS!

The week's activity

Monday Tabata sets at home:  Double unders, stitups, pushups, squats, V-ups (record the lowest count set)= 8, 12, 8, 15, 12
Tuesday  AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) in 12 min: 9 reps 35lbs DB thrusters + 1 ascent 15ft. Rope Climb = inches short of 7 rounds
Wednesday  goof off day... double unders at lunch, jog in the park, few pull ups, dips, knees to elbows on the playground
Thursday  AMRAP in 8 min: 4 HSPU's (hand stand pushups), 8 KB swings @ 53lbs, 12 GHD situps = 4 complete rounds + 8 KB swings
Friday  P90x Yoga
Saturday 100 OHS (overhead squats) with pvc pipe, shuttle run, 200 double unders: 17:28 (stinkin' double unders! they took me like 10 min.)
Sunday  failed attempt at a beach volley organization = REST DAY working on my tan in the sweet southern california sun

Whoever said P90x was like Crossfit at home... I have to disagree.  Sorry it's nothing like, in my opinion. It's an ok fill in, a fair stand by, and maybe for some super motivated and creative athletes it could be, maybe, as effective as crossfit, but I doubt it.  In itself I find it not very fun, and ergo not really my style any way.   The yoga wasn't relaxing and rejuvenating the way yoga tends to be either.  If you're not going to be fun at least be peaceful.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

A few weekend meals

Turkey Breast on Coconut Milk Rhubarb, Parsnip, Rutabega Bake

Turkey Burger on a Portabella Bun
Carob coated Almonds
Home made Mayo for Chicken Salad

Chicken Salad in a bell pepper cup :)

Weekend Break.

Feeling stressed, burned out, just plain desolate... I decided that I should relax a bit, starting with some wine, a massage, and a cheat meal with a friend.

Friday night Cheats:  chips, tacos, CHEESE, margarita, and popcorn.
Chips and Salsa was deliciousness!

1) I awoke Saturday surprisingly feeling ok.  Feeling good even.  Refreshed a bit.  No rebellion from my body.
2) WOD saturday was less than great...stomach was in knots, burning in my chest, would like to puke please
3) Six pack experiment set back...
oh pancita, there you are.  Definition decimated.  What a difference a bottle of wine and a night of junk food can make.  compare.

There is some truth to the statement: "fat and happy".  I am happy to have relaxed a bit. I am happy to be able to believe I am beautiful just because I am, and I am happy to take that peace and get my #$% served to me working out hard tomorrow :)

I am taking victory from this... there's a time and a season for all, for feasting and for fasting.  Taking this break doesn't define me and doesn't cancel all my hard work.  It doesn't mean that I need to continue on a series of binders.  It doesn't mean that food will be an emotional crutch or outlet that rules me.  It just means I am free to choose the path I want, and free to enjoy life, without living in fear of blowing it.

Thanks for the fun, weekend!  We'll do it again in a few more weeks.  In the meantime, I'm ready to get back to work.

Day 7 sans Coffee

oh coffee, you smooth aromatic delight to my mornings, I lament our separation.
the countdown continues...

heachaches:  today is the first without headaches
energy: too soon to tell, it's the weekend
digestion: getting back to normal
skin:  no difference

Days 5/6 I opted for mint and pomegranite teas (I LOVE mint tea) - however today I went back to the Yerba Mate'.  It feels more like coffee than lemon or orange would, and those are my only other options today.

As a treat I've been adding a spoon of carob powder to my morning tea some days... it sweetens it a little and makes it more treat like. It helps keep the Starbucks cravings at bay - oooh before I gave up coffee I had come up with a pretty acceptable home made knock off for frappeccino's - coconut or almond milk, ice, cooled coffee, cinnamon, and chopped dates, blended together for cool delight... ahhh... I digress.

7 weeks ago, I was content with my switch from flavored creamer and syrups to just coconut milk in my coffee.  The emotional/mental attachment is harder now to make this switch from coffee (ie caffeine) to herbal teas ... it's a bigger problem I think. 

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Kale Chips

These are one of my absolute favorite healthy treats!  The only problem with them is that they take 10x as long to prepare as they do to consume ;)  Compliments of KD

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Veteran's Day Treats

In honor of veteran's day I wanted to bring treats to the box today. Since many of the fellowship there are serving or have served in our military, it seemed a fitting occasion to do so.  Nevermind that I ended up 20 minutes late, and earned a 20 burpee penalty after fogetting the yummies and backtracking for them.  They were worth it.

I totally stole and ever so slightly modified this from my wicked CFRR buddy.  She uses mini cups for them, which would be great for a bitesize treat, but I only had the regular size muffin cups to work with.

3/4 c coconut oil, divided
3/4 c carob powder, divided
1/3 c almond butter
10 dates, food processed until crumbs
1/4 c coconut milk

Melt 1/2 c coconut oil in microwave. Mix 1/2 c carob powder with melted oil. Pour equal amounts into muffin cups (about 12 regular sized). Put in the refrigerator to set up, at least 2 hours.
Mix almond butter, coconut milk, and processed dates together and divide equally on top of chocolate, about 1 tbs or so. Melt 1/4c oil in microwave. Add remaining amount (1/4c) carob powder to melted oil and pour  on top of layers. Place back in refrigerator to set 1-2 hrs. 

Addendum: This is great great great in mini cups, which I found Von's carries.  They make the recipe go a lot further.
2nd. They are great with cocoa powder as well.
3rd.  The quantities are just a go by... the trick is just equal parts oil and powder.  plus a bit of honey if you are feeling like more sweet is in order.  I almost always use more than the recipe calls for - just reheating and mixing in a pyrex measuring cup as I go.

Pad Thai Stir Fry Breakfast

Sometimes, I drag my feet to the kitchen in the morning and the last thing I feel like eating is eggs.  A fruit smoothie first thing in the morning may sound nice, but if I start my day that way it sets me up to want sugar all day long.  So the last two days I've gone for dinner at breakfast time.

Broccoli slaw
Cauliflower 'rice' - finely chopped
Zucchini slivered (use a peeler to slice off long strips
red onion
1 chicken breast
1 egg
Coconut aminos
Cracked pepper

  1. Heat EVOO in pan
  2. Add veggies stirring
  3. add just a tsp or so aminos and vinegar
  4. Stir and cook for about 3min.
  5. Add precooked diced chicken breast to warm
  6. Crack in an egg and stir.
  7. garnish with cilantro, lime and cracked pepper