Introducing CrossFit Purged

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”
– William Faulkner

It’s hard to believe it’s been over 5 years since I found CrossFit and it quickly won my commitment, passion, and love.  Four years ago I started dreaming of living CrossFit full time - opening a box, helping others accomplish new and incredible feats, and nurturing a community of people dedicated to becoming the best they can be.

Some one else shared that dream… though I hadn’t met him yet.  It’s been exactly 2 years since I met Christopher Sheets at the SoCal CrossFit Regionals and in those two short years our lives have been turned upside down in the most amazing ways.

In two years, we met, romanced, exchanged vows, changed jobs, traveled, had two car accidents, endured injury, started brewing a baby, and opened a business together. 

Here we are: Team Sheets is at the helm of CrossFit Purged!

(I know there’s no excuse for a neglected blog, but those are my excuses!)

In the 8 short weeks that our doors have been open, we have poured our hearts, energy, and time into building not just a fitness program, but a community and a place where people can feel at home.  A place they can face their fears and limitations and persevere to overcome them.  A place where they can blow off steam, where they can find camaraderie as they work together, sweat together, and yes, sometimes even bleed together setting new personal records.  

We have been honored and grateful for the amazing people that have come our way, that have supported us and been on the ground floor of creating this new and empowering community.  We love you all and are so excited to see the positive changes in your lives as you make the time, put in the effort, and choose not to settle for just skating by, but to show up each day and give your best… whatever that happens to be at that point in time.  You are destined for greatness and we are thrilled to be a part of the journey.

The changes of the last two years moved me away from the competition floor. Maybe I will return there one day … If I’ve learned anything from CrossFit it’s that you’re never too old and it’s never too late to follow your passions.   In this time, here and now, I have a different dream.  I am so honored to have the gift of growing a new life, to pursue being a fit mama, living well, and living (I hope) as an inspiration and example in different ways.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to coach, to have been mentored and now share with others knowledge gained over the last five years.  Thank you CrossFit Purged for giving me that opportunity. 

Taking the step to open our own CrossFit affiliate did not come without lots of questions, fears, delays, and unknowns.    About that, well Kirkegaard says it best,

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.”

And so, Dear Husband and I are finding ourselves, our new life, and our future in this endeavor.  Life is nothing if not an adventure! If it were something other than an adventure, though the security might be comforting, it would come at the cost of apathy and a dull spirit.  Thank you again to all the adventurers out there, to those seizing the opportunities every day brings for you.  You are our inspiration.

The doors of CrossFit Purged are always open to you!  Stop on by!

Crossfit Open 13.2 - the turning point

The Greatness of man's power is the measure of his surrender. -William Booth

Oh what an adventure this season is turning out to be.
Be warned - 
this post is ~3% about crossfit and 97% about love and life!  
Just wanted to let you know, so you can stop here if you've been misled :)

This is Mary & I. Those are flowers
she brought me when she came to support me
during 13.2.
She's amazing.
Love frees us to do what we are being called to do.
I am so grateful. 

13.2 arrived last Wednesday:
10min of 5 Shoulder to Overhead, 10 Deadlifts, and 15 Box Jumps, oh my!
Hello posterior chain explosion.

It also marked the arrival of the (for real) realization that it's not important to me to go to regionals this year. I won't go through the details of the 2.5 attempts I took at it ... Yes even after I said I wanted to be "one and done" ...  cut me some slack I was working through some stuff.
AND guess what?! I found my answers.

Ready for it?
Competing this year is not my priority...
No, taking a 1000 pilgrims to World Youth Day in Brazil is my priority. oh. and. Getting MARRIED is my priority too. Actually that's the first order of business.

I have had and have crossfit dreams... but the time is NOW for my original dream and heart's desire.
It was not something I could go out and achieve. It's a gift God had to deliver to me in His time, and hello Calves with your head in the clouds, that time is now, Darlin'!  yes i just spoke to myself, and yes I'm really southern. My dream and desire is being given to me now.  And I've been missing it.
Oh Hello, Mr. Sheets, there you are!

So I decided ... somewhere between Wednesday and Sunday, that there is no reason to delay when God is calling.  Chris has been ready for this... and now I am.

As soon as I declared and accepted that I do not have the time and dedication necessary to pursue being competitive at crossfit this year, that it is not my priority to put in the time and energy for the gauntlet, THEN clarity came. What are we waiting for?

The pieces of life are never going to fall perfectly into place. It's never going to be all figured out financially and where you'll live or how long you'll be doing the things you do now.  It's enough to know that we want to be on this journey together, that we want to be one.
It's enough.
We choose that. We move on that.

And Look what I finally learned to do.
With my dear husband to be.
New tricks - new hope for the future ;)

We know that God will place each piece into place along the way as we go.

I love it when I get to see what God is up to.  It's pretty neat.
I love it when I finally let go and see how he wants to place the pieces... and I see. "hmm.. that's not what I thought, but hey! That's gooooood!" 

So between 13.2 and 13.3... my wedding date has moved forward 4 months. YAY!!
the countdown is on 69 Days!!!

Now I get to be a princess. Now I get to be a girly girl and plan and dream and think about my wedding day - That thing that I didn't allow myself to even consider all those years that my dream was deferred. Now I get to live it.  Sometimes, I guess you just have to make a seemingly difficult decision... and then you find it only seems so hard and confusing and scary until you do it.

So YAY! and YIKES!!
I'll take all the help and tips and support and advice you guys can throw at me.
I am abundantly blessed!

Dark Night of the Crossfit Soul

Let's be honest.

... I feel like I have to say it out loud. I have to declare it to claim it, so I'm writing it. 

I have been so twisted up in my head and my heart over crossfit for the last six months. I've been so confused and probably over trained. 

That won't do - I need a clear goal. To continue through the open I need to know what my purpose is. I need to name what victory is to me. 

I thought it was finishing in the top 48...actually I'm not even sure that was honest, because I wanted to place top 15 at regionals so even if I make top 48 I'm sure I'd find a problem with it. But that's not my purpose anymore. 

So what is it?  

What is victory to me right now?

Finishing.  Just finishing. 

It's a reassessment of my goals.

I'm not copping out, or giving up. But I am gaining clarity and focus. 

I just need to get through this season as far as it takes me. 

I just need to show up at the box day in day out, disciplined as I have been. 

I need to do the open workouts like any other workout. 

Hitting it hard as I always do.  I need to give it my best effort and then just keep going. 

Just keep going. 

Winning right now is showing up, giving my best, and letting the chips fall where they will. 

No agonizing over what score I need. No leader boarding. 

No anxiety and scrutinizing myself. 

No doing it over and over. 

My goal is to finish what I started. 

That I keep showing up is all that matters right now. 

Sometimes victory is just doing what you need to do, even when you don't feel like it. When your heart isn't in it. 

Being competitive at crossfit was my dream.  Last year was great. 

I have a new dream right now. 

And I want to soak that up and walk in the light of its beauty. 

I just need my love story right now. 

Another time, another season I may change my mind. 

but now. 

It is what it is. 

OC Throwdown 2013: Playing with the Big Kids

The crossfit games season begins in a week, but I competed in another little competition last month, and the lessons I learned there are really big for me coming into this competition season.... so I wanted to tell you about it.

The OC Throwdown was held in ummm... the OC... in case you didn't guess.
It seems to have begun as just a local event, reaching out to the surrounding Southern California region, but within a few years it has grown and drawn competitors from across the country including many Games competitors.   This is pretty cool.

It was only $10 to sign up for the online qualifier in the fall, and my coach encouraged all of us to participate. I'm a good athlete, in the respect that I generally do what I'm told - so I didn't think much of it and just signed up.

It probably is worth mentioning though that I didn't want to do it. Seriously, I thought it was dumb.
Some of my teammates had competed last year, and the feedback was so miserable I had an incredibly negative view toward it.  It was a subtle negative energy that didn't fully shake until long after the event was over I'm sad to say. Now looking back, you guys, I'm so grateful I did it.

I learned a lot...

1) Post Competition I made a table listing all the things I felt I did well and what I could improve on every work out.
Super organized right?!  I wish I could say I do this daily. 
The trend I found was that I didn't visualize myself completing the workouts.  Yeah, yeah, I wanted to do my best. I wanted to win. But I visualized "getting through" and "surviving" the "very heavy, very challenging workouts" (see. check them out)
Apart from the 1st event (which was my best by the way)... I didn't expect/plan to crush the prescribed amount of work within the time limit.

Lesson: you will rarely achieve something challenging if you do not plan to achieve it.  Aim HIGH. Visualize Strong. If you get out there and all your visualization falls short, learn a new lesson, but for goodness sake at least make a point to believe you can do whatever you set out to do!

I have made this mistake several times. Now I see it, and will actively be working this area of mental preparation going into this games season.

2) I'm a pro. HEH. THAT'S FUNNY :) 
 It was published that the top 60 from the series of qualifying workouts would be invited to compete.  The top 30 would be in the pro division and the next 30 would be in the amateur division.  I qualified into the amateur division, and I was very cool with that.

When I got there, there was only one female division. Professional.
We were all competing in the Pro division.
There were at least 7 individual games competitors.
There were several more that proposedly (did I make that word up?) should have, would have, could have qualified in another region than their own, or  who have qualified in years past.  AND there were even several more that competed at the Games as part of a team.
It was truly a pro division.

Lesson: Don't be intimidated to play with the big girls.  Be adaptable. In competition, focus on yourself and what you can control. Know that if you are there, you deserve to be there. 

3) I got served, demolished, crushed by my competition.
at least that's how it felt at the time.
I was so heart broken at the end of the 1st day, after 3 workouts.
I had done everything I could and I ended in failure... literally. muscle failure in 2 out of the 3.
There were minutes left on the clock and could not do one more muscle up in the 2nd workout.
There were minutes left on the clock and could not get to the top of the rope one more time in the 3rd workout.
I watched people blow past me because I just had nothing left.
But you know what?  I did 3 consecutive muscle ups for the only time in my life to date.
 I did a 20 ft. rope climb for the 1st time in my life. That's awesome.
You know what else? It's okay to "fail" - at the time it really felt like I was failing but I wasn't. I was holding my ground. I was fighting. I was competing.  That is a victory.

Lesson: In every failure there is a victory. 

Yeah yeah. trite little lessons. Calves. I'd roll my own eyes,
but I'm serious.

I had such a bad attitude going to this event, from the very first qualifier.  All my efforts at mental prep and focus and fun were real efforts. REALLY. I did try. But they were feeble compared to what was beneath.
The fear and the negativity were way bigger than I realized.... like the depths of an ice berg.

 (side note: Check out Mentality WOD! I need to spend more time with Dawn's freakin awesome material.)

Having this experience has been really incredible, because despite all the negativity. the difficulty. I did it.
I went, I worked, I laughed, I cried, it's over.
and now I can look back and say...


4) Yes, I did. I competed with games competitors.
not only did I show up at the same event with them, I QUALIFIED to compete with them.
AND I even beat a few of them on one event.  In a way, this was way bigger and cooler than regionals because it was top competitors from all over.

Yes it was hard.
So what?
It's going to be hard.
It's always going to be hard.
Even if I were the best in the world; this crossfit stuff we do, is not easy for anyone.
It's not supposed to be, and
That's a big part of what makes it worth it.
But getting my head out of my own anxiety and expectations about how I compare to everyone else and even how I compare to my own idea of who and what I should be is an absolute necessity for progress.

Lesson: Let your competition be your inspiration - every one of them is fighting.  Learn how they do it!

I have stood in line with Kris Clever at a few events over the last few years. Watching her attitude across the board has really convicted me about my own attitude, disposition and demeanor toward competition. I am so grateful for that experience. And in this particular competition to see Andrea Ager, Lyndsey V, Taylayna Fortunato, Gretchen Kittleberger and so many others in their zone was a great opportunity and inspiration. I love being part of this sport. 

Crossfit Goals 2012: October Update

This is definitely not the most ascetically pleasing post.  Sorry! Guess it's more for my own comparison of where I started and where I'm at with my goals so far. 
For the passerby, just check out all the lines and see how much I have crossed off my list. Fun!
Only TWO of my original goals from January remain!
I have 13 goals still remaining for the next almost 3 months, but I'm getting excitingly close to several of them :)

A Few to Get Started: Set in January2012 Shoulder Press 100# Deadlift 265# Back Squat 235# Squat Clean 160#, but if I can power clean it, I'll take that too! Jerk 155# Snatch 115# 400m run 1:10 500m row 1:50 2 Handstand Pushups full ROM 1:20 Hanstand Hold (wall) 1 Muscle up on rings 4 Bar Muscle ups 25 hand release pushups Max pullups 35 Max ringdips 15 Hanstand Walk 5 ft. 500m row 1:45 Handstand walk 3yds Max L sit 45 sec Max L sit 60 sec Top 60 in SoCal for the Crossfit Open *red ones added by March

Mid Year 2012 Crossfit Goals:  This is where I'd hope to be by the end of the year.  Press 105# Deadlift 300# Back Squat 250# Clean & Jerk 165# Snatch 135#   400m run 1:10 Max pull ups 35 Get Rhythm of Butterfly kipping Max ringdips 20 Max L sit 60 sec (gah! I'm only 3 sec short!) Complete Mini Amanda: 7-5-3 Muscle Ups, 95# Squat Snatches 1 Mile run sub 7:01 21 kipping Hand Stand Pushups 5 strict Hand stand pushups 3 consecutive muscle ups 2 strict chest to bar pull ups (palms forward)

It’s the October Update: Look at everything already accomplished!  3 months to go! Shoulder press 100#  Deadlift 285# Back Squat 250# Squat Clean 170.5# Jerk 163# Snatch - 132.5# Yes!  400m run 1:20 hmph!          Max Pullups 35       The 1st 20 were butterfly J Max ringdips 15 Max L-sit – not tested since mid year which was 57 sec. Mini Amanda – not yet attempted but totally possible on a good muscle up day 1 Mile – not getting there 7:38 most recently 2 strict HSPU's 2 muscle ups in a row… close! I have yet to test the rest!

Analysis:  4 months of a strength program by Casey is totally paying off!! I've made very satisfactory gains on my lifts this year so far.  With the strength & extra body weight though I'm not getting faster, but I haven't really lost much ground there, and trust it will come back to balance. Metcon's are pukeworthy lately, but I'm happy to get reacquainted with being comfortable being uncomfortable there.
My next training cycle will focus on gymnastics and I'll get to train and test more of these goals - I'm excited to see the fruits of a concentrated program in that area as well!

I'm grateful to see the hard work paying off.  I'm grateful for all the progress I still get to see at age 33.   

I'm also thankful for all the people that get negative about what's possible as we "get older" and with injuries, or who size up my limits based on my lack of lifelong athletic ability and development. 

I'm grateful for all that, because that is fuel to me!  I'm fueled and strengthened also by all the people who believe in me and tell me every day how much I CAN!  I love learning to take all of it and use it for gain.

So much of all of this sport... and life too... is a mental game!  Stronger today than yesterday!

Let it Count.

" When is the last time you wrote down all the things that you are proud of, that you've overcome, that you once couldn't do but now you can? "

Dawn Fletcher, inspirational coach extraordinaire, posed this question maybe a week or two ago, and I had to admit to myself it's been MONTHS at least.

I don't take enough time to count my blessings and let myself be proud of what I've done...
This is a tough exercise for me. I so often dismiss the victories almost as soon as they come, but I'm going to own it! 

1) I have been busting my butt in training. And almost everyday I think of how much more I need to do and how much deeper I need to dig if I'm going to do this.  And I've spent more time being discouraged that my max efforts are not where I want them, over being grateful that I get to workout every day. But you know, I AM proud that I am pouring my heart into my dreams and doing the work. I am giving my all, no matter how "my all" varies from day to day.

2) I have made gains in all my lifts pretty much weekly. I've never back squatted 220 for 3x3 or deadlifted 225 for 3x5 or deadlifted 260 for 2 reps. I'm pushing new limits. I'm proud of that.

3) I'm making room for a relationship in my life. Opening my heart to let myself be loved.  Working to be honest and open. This is a big "overcome" for me.  Another great step towards a goal I sort of stopped pursuing or believing was attainable.  I'm proud of that. and grateful.

4) Last month I visited my family.  A place where boundaries barely exist and structure has long been out of reach.  But this trip I made it a point to make a schedule.  To set limits. To take care of myself.  And this freed me to really enjoy my time there with out regret. 

5) I'm also going to add a little recap of the last 6 months accomplishments that I couldn't do but now can!

Handstand walks. Balanced headstands.  Muscle ups. Handstand pushups. 

6) I have done a lot of interior work in the last year.  Choosing to fight belief systems that are holding me back from grace.  This takes a lot of courage and humility.  I'm proud of that.

7) Also last month, I entered a competition and I took first place. I dismiss it for being a small competition, but who cares?  It IS something to be proud of.  Another day it may not happen, but why should that rob me of that moment in time that I gained a victory.

So, when's the last time you listed all the things you have accomplished, have overcome, are proud of?  I hope we both take time to remember and celebrate it!

Training Power Deux

"We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."

-Aristotle

Another video that gets my head straight and set to do work, make my training count, and generally gets me  fired up to make a habit of living for excellence in this moment.

"I have rassled with an alligator... I done tossled with a whale.

I have handcuffed lightning and thrown thunder in jail.

That's bad." 

Ha.ha. Muhammad Ali... such a poet 

"It's not about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

How much you can take and keep moving forward." 

Thanks for that Rocky Balboa

"Never give in. Never give in. Never. Never. Never. In nothing great or small, large or petty,

Never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. 

Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." 

-Winston Churchill... He knows.

Comparing a Year's Progress

August 2011 goof off striving for athleticism Height:   5'4"  Weight:  142 Clean & Jerk:      140 Snatch:              100 Deadlift:            245 Back Squat:        200 Bench Press:       135 Thruster 130# 100 unbroken doubles unders Fran 4:07 rx 30 unbroken pullups Some goals to be practiced and mastered: Handstand walk 10ft 1 muscle up 250# deadlift sub 6:30 mile 10 handstand pushups to abmat 1 Handstand pushup to full depth Wallballs & boxjumps (because I suck at them. really.)

August 2012 Individual SoCal Regional Competitor Height:   5'4"  Weight:  143 Clean & Jerk:      163 Snatch:              127 Deadlift:            275 Back Squat:        235 Bench Press:       145 for 3x5 Thruster 130# - no clue if I’ve still got this. Probably. But I HATE thrusters. Fran 3:47 rx 30 unbroken pullups… I think I got 29 last time I tried :/ Some goals to be practiced and mastered: Handstand walk 10ft- pretty sure I’ve done this. 1 muscle up – Holla, every week! 250# deadlift - done sub 6:30 mile – not a chance 10 handstand pushups to abmat- forget the abmat, bust out the DB’s for deficit 1 Handstand pushup to full depth – got it. Wallballs & boxjumps- no longer a problem.

Victory and the Fire



C.A.L. Saturday Night Lights 
Crossfit Temecula South Aug 4, 2012



I post so much about the fight. the journey. the path. I suppose there are victories in there too - My muscle up. Qualifying for Regionals. Finishing the Whole 30. and today standing on a podium.

It was a small competition.  In fact I only had two competitors in the advanced female division - my beloved training partners, Natalie and Kim. Sharing this competition with them was really special. I love them. We dig for our best together all the time, while 100% encouraging and helping one another.  Everyday they are with me in this journey.  Saturday, we just took it outside the box.  Competing with your support system beside you is very different from competing beside girls that have no vested interest in you whatsoever, except to finish ahead of you. I am so very grateful for these girls.

I won this one. I wanted to win it. We train to win. But I know these girls, I know where their strengths and weaknesses are. I knew where I could gain and where I might lose ground with them. I know what their training setbacks have been. They've each a few setbacks and they still made me fight for it. They were right on my heels. They are phenomenal athletes and any one of us could have taken it Saturday.  But in circumstance and drive, I was positioned to succeed this time. 

Now, for the road ahead, how do I take that to the next level? How do I come off a victory, celebrating it, but thirsty to be better?  Just by being honest and real and remembering my goals.
I guarantee if I took this opportunity to sit and bask in self satisfaction, and to ease up a little on my training, because "Hey I'm doing great", and then face this competition again next month... the outcome would be different. I wouldn't be positioned to win, because I wouldn't be as hungry for it, because I would miss valuable training time, because the little things we do and sacrifice EVERY DAY add up and count in the end.

I listen to all sorts of crazy motivational youtube clips.  Everyday. It feels silly to share with people, but I know it works for me. Every day on my way to the gym I have to stoke and fan the flames of desire and fight in my heart in order to get the most out of the training session.  At the competition, I sat off to the side with my head phones getting my self pumped up and hungry to start in the lead and stay in the lead. hungry NOT to quit. Not to slow down. Because once that timer starts and the weights start moving... it will get heavy, it will get hard, my lungs will burn, my legs and back will ache, and there will be a point that I want to just stop, before it's over.  Always.

I have to have my head fixed harder than my muscles.
This was fun :) I have only ever been on the podium in my life ONE time, and that was as part of a team.

As small as this competition was, it was a victory for me. I need to celebrate that.  I need to let it reach my heart and hold it there. The podium is possible. I am capable of suceeding at this when I work for it.  These months of focus, and consistent drive, have been working. 

Oh, yeah, I don't do this just to fight every day. I DO have an end, a goal I want to achieve.
And one rest day later, I need to move forward from this experience determined to be even better and stronger and faster next week and the next and the next.
Back to the box.