Six Pack non-experiment Follow up

This is a bit obnoxious. I'm not a fan of people posting their stomachs and bodies all over social media.
However I suppose this if for the sake of observation... and it's not social media. not really.
But anyway if you don't like that sort of thing, stop here!!

Any way, I came here today to post an effusion of some emotion or other, and then realized that
my Six Pack experiment posts from the VERY early blog days had been viewed recently. And I thought to myself,
"hmph. Self, is your belly any leaner, six packier, after 2 yrs of constant crossfit competition mindedness than it was then... after that 1st 2 months of paleo eating and 'regular' crossfitting?"

(not really. I didn't really say that to myself I just vaguely wondered without words... but whatever.)

SO... I mosied on into the restroom to document and see.

on #4 I stuck my tummy out as far as I could just to compare and be sure that I wasn't  sucking it in or trying to make it look better, because you know, I can sometimes be a LITTLE vain. (I inherited it from my lovely mama) so I might just do stuff like that in the mirror. you never know.  Any way it is what it is. There is clearly still upper ab definition even pretending that I'm preggo and puffing it out. I'm cool with that. 

Compare this to... This Link back to December 2010

I haven't looked at that in 2 yrs so I'll give the follow up.
I never did "go for it" and concert a real effort to achieve a six pack.
Meh. The decision was, "It's not that important to me."

I eat well, I train hard, but I actually am not as good at "sit ups" as I once was.  I can snatch and Clean and Jerk like 30 and 40 pounds more than I could 2 yrs ago. I can back squat 60 pounds more. I can now do muscle ups and handstand push ups ... and those sorts of things are more important to me than being able to do 600 sit ups.

I really gave up on measurements and weighing myself, much to at all, not long after that picture.
Like really I hate it.
None of that is a friend to me.
And and I think that's sort of the point of the Whole 9, Active, "Paleo", Crossfit life.
The point just about being healthy and functional and it's generally a side effect to feel like you look good.

I generally feel indifferent now to actresses and models about appearance, where as I think in past times I was more longing to look that way.
I don't envy them. I don't feel inferior.
I might even feel slightly smug and superior at moments I confess,  and think "Hey I could be on that magazine" ;) not exactly, but
because I love my body and what it can do.  I love that I can run and play and drive and push myself.
I thank God for it almost daily and that makes me keep going when it's hard.
Because I know it's worth it.
I know I am taking care of myself.
AND while injury and illness can strike anyone at any time, even the most fit,
I have peace and confidence in knowing I'm doing my part to be a good steward.
The body is the channel through which we experience all things in the world. The body is a channel of our souls, and the only way through which we can communicate to the world
We can't change that we are composite beings of body and soul.
And I feel  I need to care for my whole self.

All of that to come back the the belly and say. Hmm. Interesting.
I think it's more six-packyish but then maybe not. maybe it's just the same and that's the way I'm made whether I'm training one or three hours a day... Maybe a tighter diet would change it. who knows?

What do you think??

The cool part is that ultimately it doesn't really matter :)

Whole 30, Day 17

Day 17. It's a good day.

I have a hard time with this program - it's an emotional problem. I want to eat for comfort, for rebellion, for the freedom to stick it to everyone who tells me to be good, and do what I want to do! But that won't get me to the results I want.
Though I've been faithful to the program (minus 2 trips to the scale and 2 encounters with egg protein powder) I'm afraid my heart toward food is not being changed.  I'm not getting the message yet.

Week 1 was good. I was thrilled to be eating well again.  Encouraged by the Success Guide (including a physical handheld variety of mostly new recipes).

What's for Dinner? "Spaghetti"

You guys,
It has been a long time since I have enjoyed something so much that I ate what should have been 3 servings in one sitting and couldn't wait more than 2 days to make it again!  It all came from tossing together what I had on hand... with the addition of kelp noodles.

Get a saucepan.
Turn on to medium heat.  Reduce heat to low somewhere along the way according to your judgement.
Add Some coconut oil.
Chop up some Onions or Leeks (both are good)
Saute.
Add Mushrooms.
Start chopping baby sweet peppers. (multi-colored package)
Toss those into your sauce pan. Keep giving the veggies a stir.
Grab a package of Kelp Noodles... the weirdest thing, pretty much calorie less but nutrient dense?
Rinse the 'noodles' and chop.
Toss those into the saucepan. Stir.
Dice a zucchini. Add that to the mix.
Grab 2 spicy italian sausages. Chop them up and throw them in. Stir.
Add half jar of your favorite tomato sauce.  I used Classico herb and garlic.  (always hunting for the cleanest label - no dairy, no added sugar.)
Stir and Cover.  
Let simmer together for 10 minutes or so.
Enjoy!

I have tried kelp noodles before and thought they were disgusting, but they were really good here cooked in with everything and softened up.   It was really like eating spaghetti and so yummy.

Missing the Zone

For a 'long time' before I decided to take a paleo challenge I was using the zone diet, as a guideline for my nutrition.  And honestly, I can't really say I eat paleo now.  But I do feel my diet has needed a makeover.

 So I'm making my own way for a while... the Kathy plan.  I want to stick with the good things I've learned  so far.  That means:

1)  Eat mostly real food:  Veggies, lean meats, eggs, fruits and some nuts
2)  Eat at set times, don't graze freely all day as a rule
3)  Eat meals in moderate portions - try to use Zone blocks as a guideline, but don't bother counting carb that come from green veggies, just try to keep the protein and fat in balance and not eat too much fruit.
4)  Drink LOTS of water
5)  Take fish oil daily
6)  go for the post workout protein drink  (this is on test run).

Other than that, just be moderate. (That is the hard part!!)

here's some of the day's good eats, practicing balancing...

eggs and whites, apple, and a few nuts., with Peppermint tea and almond milk

Very Blue protein shake with a Very Green pesto & spinach salad

Crock pot pork loin with tomato veggies and steamed young broccoli
Thank you Vista Farmer's Market

The Belly Saga

Ok. I can't resist it.  I am just fascinated with bellies. I know it's immodest, and no one really wants to see it, but I just love the pancitas and I love tanning, and hanging out playing beach volleyball as often as possible.
And NO. I am no where nearer a six pack than when I posed the question to the blogging universe, "will paleo give me a six pack?"  Then again I have not been consistently faithful, have I?  Actually I have never been as strict as I was at the baseline pic - that one was taken after one full month of strict whole 30.  I've been a bit rebellious ever since: one month & three months.  My! how time flies when I am periodically being a cheater.

However, Today, I am celebrating me and a moment of self esteem, "being perfect just the way I am" (ah ha. ha. ha. sigh.)
Kidding not perfect, but I'm fine with the lack of pack. I still have the 'womb' lower belly (empty) bump that I am dubbing decidedly feminine. AND meanwhile I am mesmerized by these little GI Joe hip lumps.
Check it out.

For anyone feeling bad about being curvy ever.  Here's a cool article celebrating them!

AND.  If you are inclined to give me your constructive criticism - or outsiders' observation -  or your take on the wonderful world of loving the body you've got -I would love it!

Food Explorations of Late

Frazier Farms sells a knock off vegan 'cheese'.
I gave into curiosity and decided to try it.
DON'T DO IT!!
We are not surprised.
It's vegan, and it calls itself cheese,
how could it possibly be anything good?

What you see here friends is an interesting exploration in something like pizza... oh and a delicious salad.
Why don't I eat more salad??

So the "pizza" crust was made from eggs and cashew butter mostly, and it was okay.  A little weird but I ate the whole thing (no surprises there!)

I topped it with a marinara sauce and lots of delicious veggies:
peppers, mushrooms, spinach, onions.
And that weird excuse for cheese.
Mea culpa, Mea culpa.

Next up:  Greens and Beets and Curry, oh my!

I've never cooked collard greens, but know it would benefit me to eat more leafy greens... always.
Simultaneously, I made an adventurous purchase of beets.

So what to do?

Saute them up with mushrooms, onions, and top with Trader Joe's Panang Curry Tuna??

Ok. so that's what we did. (Notice we, means me, but you get it now).

Not bad, really.  It was colorful, and curry makes everything delicious.




So a few things I can definitely recommend from the last month:

1) Trader Joes' stir fry veggies and their curry tuna!  So good for a fast meal.
2) Cold leftover roasted veggies and chicken for breakfast.... Don't Judge me. It's been surprisingly delish
3) Kale Salads - so so good you guys.  The trick is to mix it up with a citrus/oil dressing and let it marinade for a hour or more before eating.  Absolutely can not go wrong with raisins, fresh squeezed orange and, Evvo.  yummy.
4) Home made granola!  I used this as a guideline.  Seriously can not make it again for a while.  I have pushed past common sense on the amounts of food I have been eating, and this maddening thrill for my munchies doesn't help me keep my intake to reasonable levels.
5)  Apple Cinnamon muffins and cake, oh my!!  This was my go by-ish.

Tomorrow begins lent, and my body is SOOOO ready to get back to being fed real food and in moderation.
Mardi Gras has been my excuse for treats that made my heart happy while my head ached and my body has been on break down.  I really couldn't take another day of the junk - but getting off the crack is not going to come easily.

Re-purposed Turkey Burgers

Don't judge the looks...


Turkey veggie burger
1/2 cucumber skinned/sliced
Avocado
Homemade Mayo
(Balsamic vinegar?)


Fast, tasty lunch

Coconut

Such a treat! 

$1.69 at the Asian Market

A few hacks with a big knife, pop in a straw and voila.

a natural beverage that feels really special

THEN... for a workout to earn and own it, 

crack it open and spoon out the delicious creamy goodness.

Dessert!

Break Down

I have been struggling the last several months, in case you didn't notice. This blog may have been an escape, an outlet, or a motivation to pull it together, whatever IT is. 
and my stalling time is up.  


I've had two days of emotional melt downs... 
thoughts proceeding (as regards topics relevant to this blog so far):
1) maybe now is not the right time to be resetting and diving into a paleo challenge 
2) It's already Day 7 of my whole 30 and I know I have missed the boat on a few things - things that may be paleo approved, but whole 30 not approved such as almond milk, gum, and honey.
so why don't I just stop and try again later, maybe lent? or at least give myself a mondo cheat day and then restart tomorrow since I'm already not doing it right.
3)  I'll just stop and pick up some wine... hmm what other cocktail would be better? I'm down, alcohol is what I need, right?


WRONG.  that's when a flicker of a light went off in my head. (I would say Holy Spirit.)
Wine, or even dairy queen, is not going to make me feel better, and honestly it won't even taste that good. 
I want to quit because I want to turn to food as a balm for my sadness, but it won't work.
As much as many of us may do this,  As socially acceptable as it may be, 

I can hear the script:

"you deserve it", "treat yourself", "you will feel better...", "relax"

there is nothing about food that is going to fix my heart. 
Food is fuel for my body, not therapy. 


I KNOW this.  I have known this.  This is not rocket science or in any way a novel idea...
unfortunately KNOWING the truth doesn't fix my brokenness. 
But today acknowledgement was enough to stop me from quitting. 
and that little light bulb made the continuing easier.


Now that the temptation is past I get to go on facing my demons and dealing with them in ways that WILL drive them away and heal my heart. 


The only way out is through.  

I am afraid, angry, frustrated,

 but on I go.    ...  

So you see, Paleo is NOT hard. The food is delicious.  It's a great way to eat and live.  You will feel better.  It's the baggage of lifetime in the way you approach food that is HARD. 


Friends, I'm banking on freedom being worth it. 

Something New

Day 3

 Recipe at Nicole's Blog

Vented to the whole 30 community about my raisin munching addiction and my boredom with cooking. They are great.

I'm going to start using the resources I can find to keep eating clean and paleo fun, while keeping any ideas of deprivation at bay...

Tonight:
Salmon with coconut tomato sauce and steamed brussell sprouts.
Not a salmon fan in general but the sauce = so good!

And yes, I did swear off brussell sprouts for ever, but they are tasty and healthy and in moderation may not be such an enemy.

Whole 30/Paleo Challenge Take 2

So Christmas time got a little wild and ended with a repentant me on my sick bed.

I'm committing to another 40 days ... no cheats, no excuses, just real food.

Goals this time around:
1) To not allow 'going strict' to make me feel like a victim or  keep me from 'going out' and spending time with friends.
2) Not to snack on nuts all day, but save them for emergencies and a garnish.
3) To be Zone-esque in my meals... eat 5x/day no less than 2 1/2 hrs apart
4) Do eat a recovery something post workout
5) Do post meals on the Whole 30 blog for ideas and accountability

Starting Line:

Chest 36, Waist 29, Abs 32, Hips 37.75, Thigh 22.5,

Bicep 11.75, Calf 15 (just for fun these two)

135lbs of lovely lady

compare to last time

A bit of Light reading

Working my way through these... getting some new ideas, 

and the just the very beginning of knowledge and understanding.

If you are looking for a read on the Paleo life... Robb Wolf is a pretty easy read with a lot information and humor.

This one is next in line!

It's a LOVE.HATE kind of relationship

Your Paleo Lifestyle

1)  Absolute Truth... if strictly followed your body WILL eventually shred itself into a pretty athletic machine.  what's not to LOVE about that!

2)  You get to eat real food... and realize how good real food tastes without processing and sweeteners. LOVE

3) There is a good chance if you live alone and work from a home office you will never see people again whilst trying to eat this way economically and flavorfully, because you are too obssessvie and anal for your own good.  You will be alone and miserable. and really want to turn to Starbucks for comfort, but there is no paleo comfort there ...  HATE.

4) Sometimes you will want to rebel and have a cheat day or vacation, not because you HAVE to have something in particular, but because you deserve it, or for the sake of being social or 'normal'.... just to kick back, have fun, and not be so strict about your life... when you make this choice, you will get sick. Your body will rebel and hate you.  HATE that.

5) BUT you will not gain weight and start packing on pounds because you went on a little binder.  You will get sick, and in getting sick you will be eager to eat right again.  Additionally you will have no appetite because you. are. sick.  You may even lose weight (but it's probably from your muscles and will come back as soon as you are eating and exercising again).  LOVE. 

6) Whilst you are sick, if you have the pleasure of being so in the presence of your mother (or another motherly type), she will take care of you in the way she has learned to do with cold medicines and cough drops, all full of sugars. In her love she will tell you how your upset tummy needs the BRATT diet - you know Banana, Rice, Applesauce, Teas, and Toast... again all sugar (and grains, which are sugar), which will all be nice at the time, but will repress your immune system and keep you sick longer.  HATE

7) While cheats may happen from time to time for 'valuable' causes,  you really do experience freedom from absolutely 'have to have' cravings for bad things.  There's always a great alternative, if you have a paleo kitchen and supplies around. LOVE

8) Delicious paleo friendly options are hard to come by on the go, on the road, or at 90% of restaurants - HATE (see #3... hence you stayed holed up alone)

9) A true Paleo lifestyle is one with 8 hours of sleep a night.  There should be no guilt in sleeping because you know the dangerous things that happen in your cells when you do not get quality sleep.  LOVE

10)  A true Paleo lifestyle is as much about the balance of physical activity and leisure, lots of socializing, and sunshine, as it is about the food  LOVE.

11) But in a modern world where 10+ hours of your day are spent virtually alone in front of a computer and the other 6 waking hours are spent in travelling in a car to get a minimal amount of time outside or exercising, OR spent in shopping, cleaning, and preparation of food, who gets either the leisure, relationship time, or the amount of physical activity of a real Paleo lifestyle.. HATE.

Let's round off the list with something positive... and a better number than 11.

12)  When you are faithful to the lifestyle, you avoid illness, wake without an alarm, sleep soundly, have great energy, never have to measure food, and look good naked... LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. 

These are just a few friends, believe me, the list goes on....

~~~

Acknowledgements:

*Whenever any one makes "YOU" or "Everybody" statements, they are really only making a statement about one person... themselves.  Except several of these really do apply to YOU and everyone if they choose this path... like #1, 2 and #12

Curry in a Hurry

Mmm... Curry for my lingering cold & a salad for good measure

oh the pain...

My body hates me.  Everything hurts... stiff, achy, acute weird pains even. Congested and draining.  I awoke this morning with very puffy swollen eyes and face. 
just the truth.

I did not intend to express any regrets about my choices this holiday.  I have eaten freely of things I 'do not eat', vaguely trying at meal times to make moderately good choices.  But often I made blatantly poor ones for the sake of vacation, family, relaxing, being 'out of my element'...
My belly doesn't swell up and bloat so obviously; my digestion seems good to me.  I don't believe myself to be gluten or lactose intolerant. But I. FEEL. AWFUL.

Knowing that I was hitting the rum cake and cookies pretty hard, I was determined to hit WOD's reasonably hard as well... I mean I'm not trying to completely let go, and besides a new gym/new people - enticement to put up respectable efforts.
I had a few PR's on weightlifting this week, but I'm paying for it. My recovery is ... absent.

Sigh... it is obvious to me that I am a sugar junkie, and I'm far off the wagon. Rehab will commence soon, but not soon enough.  Why do I crave and almost compulsively munch at things that are clearly destroying me, and am SO happy to do it?  Friends, I ask this repeatedly.  The answer is we are in a fallen world and we have to fight for everything true, good, beautiful... and healthy! Lord, help me. I'm reaping my just reward now.  My body has no strength but I'm re-awakening.  I still want beer!  I still want beans and cake and wine and peanut butter balls and pizza! Even as I feel like death.

A new year is coming- renewed strength of will.  This was both fun and not - time to move on.
But I pray I remember this clearly so I won't be so arrogant at my next 'break'.

Family Fun

ah. nothing like being home for the holidays...

hung my rings from a tree.... if I could muscle up they would be helpful there.  The brothers gave me a boost to get some dips in.

taken by Mike... check out
http://careyjointmedia.com/

We did some pseudo yoga diving pushup stretching in the yard... good times, then had a grappling match in our Christmas Eve fancy clothes. Mom called the match off, but I think judges would conclude Mike's victory.
My brother Chris tried to teach me some Tai Chi...  observe me not following  ->

And of course there is playing with the children and the 30's of Christmas time conditioning as my commitment for another 2 weeks.  I can get them in together... squats with the babies.

These have been nice little breaks from my perpetual indulgence ... the list of which is topped with RUM CAKE!  I did hit a mild sugar coma Christmas Eve, but doing better.





Being with family is a good stabilizer.  Life is what it is, but most of all it's worth living.  There is more beer to come for me! Hopefully I can drop in on the local crossfit Monday and gladly take the just recompense for my choices.

Cuppa Tea with Love

I have made the switch.  I actually love my morning tea.  6 months ago,  I could not imagine life without daily lattes or flavored creamers.  6 weeks ago, I couldn't imagine facing a morning without coffee and coconut milk, bitter sweetness.  Now I have done it; I love herbal tea.  THIS one in particular is my most recent delight.

It's spicy sweet and has freed me of needing coconut milk or sweeteners as well. Awesome. 

Me living Caffeine Free = 

End times must be near or We are in an Alternate Universe. 

My mind is blown

It takes 2 days

Note to self:  Don't get so excited, or frustrated, about the apparent non-effect of poor dietary choices right away.  Give it 2 days, you will inevitably notice your body is not pleased.

I indulged in the standard munchies provided at my girls' night Friday... processed or baked grains and sugars. Why?  I don't know - depressed apathy.  pride. whatever.
Saturday, I enjoyed my leche chocolata. Whether from that or from my great workouts,  I was euphoric. I topped it off with a cocktail.

Sunday, I felt run down and like I'm getting sick.  I know I'm not sick - My body is just displeased with me.

SUGAR... sugar is my weakness and nemesis.  I have been too dismissive of that and loving the raisins and dates lately too... Ok. I know my enemy and I hope I will be more vigilant.

I have a few vacations coming up soon - a perfect opportunity to 'make an exception'
Let this be my reminder that those exceptions will not come without consequences.

Chocolate Milk?

Yes! Chocolate Milk!

Chocolate Milk: The New Sports Drink?
Check it out. 

Today after the best WOD ever I went for the chocolate milk.... deliciousness.

I waited to see if it would bother my GI system before Workout 2 and....nope! just deliciousness. (I confess to being a little annoyed sometimes that my body doesn't exude intolerance for things I have cut out of my diet. Oh well. That is another topic.)
 
A while back I watched a series of interviews on crossfit about nutrition.  Boz went around interviewing HQ's trainers and athletes about what they do.
Zone, Paleo, and the "I eat whatever I want" diet from BA Spealler.

I was surprised how many of the athlete's had chocolate milk as their post workout nutrition of choice.  The idea was dismissed of course.  "I'm not allowed to do that. I'm sure there's a better way."   Actually I'm terrible about eating anything post WOD.

I was speaking with a friend just the other day who has recently been to a nutritionist.  She came highly recommended - PhD yes, but also a body builder herself she knows very well the science of our bodies and how foods affect them.  She actually recommended chocolate milk as recovery - it has carbs, proteins, fats for all the nutrients to absorb properly and post workout is the best time to have added sugars or carbs because it's when metabolism is highest.
Maybe, it's not necessarily best for looking the cuttest, but for just recovery and well being. 

I don't think I will make this a daily habit.  I still think it's too much sugar, and that dairy is going to keep a fat layer on me preventing the definition I want, but boy did it make me feel happy today.  I will not feel guilty for make this choice every now and then, particularly on heavy days or double WOD days.

Six Pack Experiment- one month

I've done nothing out of the ordinary in the last month that would help me get better abs.  Just 95% paleo eating and a moderate amount of crossfit.

The tummy has gone ups and down with the gastrointestinal tides and lady bloating.  Actually to give the most fair comparison I should take pics in another 3 days or so; however, just now after a work out and after a few days of deliberate light eating I am feeling skinny and encouraged... so here's the pic.

compare.

better? same? worse?

Hmm... maybe the same?  Maybe a little puffier.  Pic's are good for comparing.
I thought this experiment would be strictly "will paleo give me a 6 pack?"  without really changing how I exercise or adding any ab specific work. But if I'm going for a 6pack, then I kind of want to commit to go for it and work for it - not just wait around another 10 months to see if the paleo/primal/eat clean program does it on its own.  Decisions, decisions...


"What about Core?"  There's a crossfit video on it.  Crossfit doesn't do a lot of ab work in the way people usually think of it... situps, crunches, etc.  The core muscles of our bodies are designed primarily for stabilization - so you are really working your core muscles in a functional way when lifting weights, and everything else we do, by stabilizing your midline, i.e. back and abs are contracted, tight and stabilized as you work/lift.  This prevents injury and builds core muscles.

This is what I meant by I'm not going to do anything out of the ordinary. But I actually kind of love traditional ab work.  situps, V-ups, GHDsitups, Lsits, Knees to Elbows and feet to bar, bosu ball work, (flutter kicks I could live without).

I've always been a situp princess.  Actually, a couple months ago a trainer thought it would be a fun warm up to have us do max situps ... He had to cut me off at 600 so we would have time for the work out.  Maybe that's why I'm like a tree trunk in my torso? hmm... I digress.

Since I actually like that stuff, and a six pack is sort of a loose goal I have, I'm considering looking for a 6pack focused program to work on. Looks like I have some research to do.  I'll let you know if I make any progress on that. Really, I think diet is HUGE in looking so cut.  I'll probably just have to stay with paleo and be more conscious about my salt intake.  Wouldn't hurt if I drank pure-er water too.  Just some thoughts.