Sunday, March 6, 2011

Who's your fictional character?

Now that I've given you the LOTR reference, and an insight to my inner jerk, maybe you will see more clearly that my character in that movie is...
Yes! This guy. It's true. We are the same.  Gollum! Not that I killed my cousin for the precious, but you never know, I might and then I'd let myself be driven crazy with the desire for it.
Can you really be surprised why I am so concerned with being balanced?? He's not even really one person is he? But I have that gollum like dialogue going on with myself sometimes. 

Let's consider the words of Gandalf, Gollum "hates and loves the ring, as he hates and loves himself." That pretty much sums up my character comparison.  I am in one shot the most vain and selfish person (case in point Spartan Race: Get out of my way people!  I have to do what I have to do!!) but also the most severe critic and enemy of myself - Dragging myself away from freedom and life, stealing the joy from my victories, keeping myself feeling worthless and captive.

I don't think I'm alone in this really.  After all if pop culture is any indication of the broken human person... it's all over the place.
Gaga "Baby I was born this way"
Natasha Beddingfield "So strip me, strip it all away... I'm only one voice in a million, but you ain't taking that from me."
Cristina Aguilera "I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring me down..."
and my latest favorite Pink, "Don't you ever ever feel like you are less than perfect."
Do you have some more to add for us?

I love that stuff. I jam out in my car.  But LBH (uh hello, let's be honest), friends,  it seems a little like we are over compensating for our shame with the defense of our goodness.  You are Perfect? really?

I'm tired of destroying myself.  Really I am, but I'm also tired of being her...

Long before I realized I am Gollum... I recognized myself in Scarlett O Hara... and immediately started praying for mercy.  Dear God save me from myself.
She leaves a trail of admirers in her wake.  She never loves and appreciates what she has. She stays fixated on what she wants.  Her life is a journey in tragedy, mostly of her own making, and probably because she thought she was 'perfect'.

Gollum and Scarlett,  they are such tragic characters.
I suppose the beauty in this connection I am making with them is recognizing the truth and letting it be what it is...  This solution, this beauty, this grace, is not nearly so dramatic or epic - and I definitely connect to life in epic terms - but I do believe it's part of the path to freedom.
I'm talking about humility.  Humility is who we are before God - nothing more and nothing less.

Instead I build myself up as more or tear myself down as less.  Why is it so hard to be stripped?

To just be what we are, no excuses, no hiding the greatness in us, no belittling our gifts, but no pumping them up either.
No sugar coating our sins and weaknesses so we don't feel as bad about them, but staring them straight on.  Man (or Woman) enough to say yes, I did that. I'm sorry. Repent and move on without beating ourselves up or  thinking our actions control our worth.
And on the flip side, facing our sins and weaknesses for what they are... admitting it rather than covering it over and pretending it's really okay, "I am perfect just the way I am, mistakes I made them, and that's all okay, I'll keep doing what I want to do" so let me persist in my pride to my tragic end and never admit that I did it to myself...

Is it so hard just being who we are, good and bad, and recognizing we are loved immensely... and letting that love transform our lives?
Hard or not I think it's worth the challenge.  And the cool part is everyday is a choice.  Everyday we can change what we think.  As much as I can see in myself the tragedy of Gollum and Scarlett, I can also see the courage, strength and determination of Eowyn - a warrior princess.

She didn't conform to the role she was given; she was faithful to the desires of her heart.
Maybe she didn't get what she thought she wanted in the end, but she did find love, and she was the only one who could have done what she did.  None of those men could have killed the Nazgul.

That's who I'd like to be - chopping the heads off evil monsters, yeah!! :)
What about you?


  1. Love it! I am Sam, but long to be Eowyn :)

  2. Anna, You totally have Eowyn's warrior spirit, stoicism, and devotion. Like Sam, she was doing the things she did to stand beside the people she loves.

  3. Not sure who I am, but I've always felt that Scarlett O'Hara is misunderstood. She did what needed to be done, and what no one else was willing to do. She made sacrifices to keep her family together and to keep her family's home. Yes, she hurt people along the way, but I think she finally got it right in the end--don't we all need time to get it right? Maybe that's what life is all about.