Introducing CrossFit Purged

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”
– William Faulkner

It’s hard to believe it’s been over 5 years since I found CrossFit and it quickly won my commitment, passion, and love.  Four years ago I started dreaming of living CrossFit full time - opening a box, helping others accomplish new and incredible feats, and nurturing a community of people dedicated to becoming the best they can be.

Some one else shared that dream… though I hadn’t met him yet.  It’s been exactly 2 years since I met Christopher Sheets at the SoCal CrossFit Regionals and in those two short years our lives have been turned upside down in the most amazing ways.

In two years, we met, romanced, exchanged vows, changed jobs, traveled, had two car accidents, endured injury, started brewing a baby, and opened a business together. 

Here we are: Team Sheets is at the helm of CrossFit Purged!

(I know there’s no excuse for a neglected blog, but those are my excuses!)

In the 8 short weeks that our doors have been open, we have poured our hearts, energy, and time into building not just a fitness program, but a community and a place where people can feel at home.  A place they can face their fears and limitations and persevere to overcome them.  A place where they can blow off steam, where they can find camaraderie as they work together, sweat together, and yes, sometimes even bleed together setting new personal records.  

We have been honored and grateful for the amazing people that have come our way, that have supported us and been on the ground floor of creating this new and empowering community.  We love you all and are so excited to see the positive changes in your lives as you make the time, put in the effort, and choose not to settle for just skating by, but to show up each day and give your best… whatever that happens to be at that point in time.  You are destined for greatness and we are thrilled to be a part of the journey.

The changes of the last two years moved me away from the competition floor. Maybe I will return there one day … If I’ve learned anything from CrossFit it’s that you’re never too old and it’s never too late to follow your passions.   In this time, here and now, I have a different dream.  I am so honored to have the gift of growing a new life, to pursue being a fit mama, living well, and living (I hope) as an inspiration and example in different ways.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to coach, to have been mentored and now share with others knowledge gained over the last five years.  Thank you CrossFit Purged for giving me that opportunity. 

Taking the step to open our own CrossFit affiliate did not come without lots of questions, fears, delays, and unknowns.    About that, well Kirkegaard says it best,

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.”

And so, Dear Husband and I are finding ourselves, our new life, and our future in this endeavor.  Life is nothing if not an adventure! If it were something other than an adventure, though the security might be comforting, it would come at the cost of apathy and a dull spirit.  Thank you again to all the adventurers out there, to those seizing the opportunities every day brings for you.  You are our inspiration.

The doors of CrossFit Purged are always open to you!  Stop on by!

Six Pack non-experiment Follow up

This is a bit obnoxious. I'm not a fan of people posting their stomachs and bodies all over social media.
However I suppose this if for the sake of observation... and it's not social media. not really.
But anyway if you don't like that sort of thing, stop here!!

Any way, I came here today to post an effusion of some emotion or other, and then realized that
my Six Pack experiment posts from the VERY early blog days had been viewed recently. And I thought to myself,
"hmph. Self, is your belly any leaner, six packier, after 2 yrs of constant crossfit competition mindedness than it was then... after that 1st 2 months of paleo eating and 'regular' crossfitting?"

(not really. I didn't really say that to myself I just vaguely wondered without words... but whatever.)

SO... I mosied on into the restroom to document and see.

on #4 I stuck my tummy out as far as I could just to compare and be sure that I wasn't  sucking it in or trying to make it look better, because you know, I can sometimes be a LITTLE vain. (I inherited it from my lovely mama) so I might just do stuff like that in the mirror. you never know.  Any way it is what it is. There is clearly still upper ab definition even pretending that I'm preggo and puffing it out. I'm cool with that. 

Compare this to... This Link back to December 2010

I haven't looked at that in 2 yrs so I'll give the follow up.
I never did "go for it" and concert a real effort to achieve a six pack.
Meh. The decision was, "It's not that important to me."

I eat well, I train hard, but I actually am not as good at "sit ups" as I once was.  I can snatch and Clean and Jerk like 30 and 40 pounds more than I could 2 yrs ago. I can back squat 60 pounds more. I can now do muscle ups and handstand push ups ... and those sorts of things are more important to me than being able to do 600 sit ups.

I really gave up on measurements and weighing myself, much to at all, not long after that picture.
Like really I hate it.
None of that is a friend to me.
And and I think that's sort of the point of the Whole 9, Active, "Paleo", Crossfit life.
The point just about being healthy and functional and it's generally a side effect to feel like you look good.

I generally feel indifferent now to actresses and models about appearance, where as I think in past times I was more longing to look that way.
I don't envy them. I don't feel inferior.
I might even feel slightly smug and superior at moments I confess,  and think "Hey I could be on that magazine" ;) not exactly, but
because I love my body and what it can do.  I love that I can run and play and drive and push myself.
I thank God for it almost daily and that makes me keep going when it's hard.
Because I know it's worth it.
I know I am taking care of myself.
AND while injury and illness can strike anyone at any time, even the most fit,
I have peace and confidence in knowing I'm doing my part to be a good steward.
The body is the channel through which we experience all things in the world. The body is a channel of our souls, and the only way through which we can communicate to the world
We can't change that we are composite beings of body and soul.
And I feel  I need to care for my whole self.

All of that to come back the the belly and say. Hmm. Interesting.
I think it's more six-packyish but then maybe not. maybe it's just the same and that's the way I'm made whether I'm training one or three hours a day... Maybe a tighter diet would change it. who knows?

What do you think??

The cool part is that ultimately it doesn't really matter :)

OC Throwdown 2013: Playing with the Big Kids

The crossfit games season begins in a week, but I competed in another little competition last month, and the lessons I learned there are really big for me coming into this competition season.... so I wanted to tell you about it.

The OC Throwdown was held in ummm... the OC... in case you didn't guess.
It seems to have begun as just a local event, reaching out to the surrounding Southern California region, but within a few years it has grown and drawn competitors from across the country including many Games competitors.   This is pretty cool.

It was only $10 to sign up for the online qualifier in the fall, and my coach encouraged all of us to participate. I'm a good athlete, in the respect that I generally do what I'm told - so I didn't think much of it and just signed up.

It probably is worth mentioning though that I didn't want to do it. Seriously, I thought it was dumb.
Some of my teammates had competed last year, and the feedback was so miserable I had an incredibly negative view toward it.  It was a subtle negative energy that didn't fully shake until long after the event was over I'm sad to say. Now looking back, you guys, I'm so grateful I did it.

I learned a lot...

1) Post Competition I made a table listing all the things I felt I did well and what I could improve on every work out.
Super organized right?!  I wish I could say I do this daily. 
The trend I found was that I didn't visualize myself completing the workouts.  Yeah, yeah, I wanted to do my best. I wanted to win. But I visualized "getting through" and "surviving" the "very heavy, very challenging workouts" (see. check them out)
Apart from the 1st event (which was my best by the way)... I didn't expect/plan to crush the prescribed amount of work within the time limit.

Lesson: you will rarely achieve something challenging if you do not plan to achieve it.  Aim HIGH. Visualize Strong. If you get out there and all your visualization falls short, learn a new lesson, but for goodness sake at least make a point to believe you can do whatever you set out to do!

I have made this mistake several times. Now I see it, and will actively be working this area of mental preparation going into this games season.

2) I'm a pro. HEH. THAT'S FUNNY :) 
 It was published that the top 60 from the series of qualifying workouts would be invited to compete.  The top 30 would be in the pro division and the next 30 would be in the amateur division.  I qualified into the amateur division, and I was very cool with that.

When I got there, there was only one female division. Professional.
We were all competing in the Pro division.
There were at least 7 individual games competitors.
There were several more that proposedly (did I make that word up?) should have, would have, could have qualified in another region than their own, or  who have qualified in years past.  AND there were even several more that competed at the Games as part of a team.
It was truly a pro division.

Lesson: Don't be intimidated to play with the big girls.  Be adaptable. In competition, focus on yourself and what you can control. Know that if you are there, you deserve to be there. 

3) I got served, demolished, crushed by my competition.
at least that's how it felt at the time.
I was so heart broken at the end of the 1st day, after 3 workouts.
I had done everything I could and I ended in failure... literally. muscle failure in 2 out of the 3.
There were minutes left on the clock and could not do one more muscle up in the 2nd workout.
There were minutes left on the clock and could not get to the top of the rope one more time in the 3rd workout.
I watched people blow past me because I just had nothing left.
But you know what?  I did 3 consecutive muscle ups for the only time in my life to date.
 I did a 20 ft. rope climb for the 1st time in my life. That's awesome.
You know what else? It's okay to "fail" - at the time it really felt like I was failing but I wasn't. I was holding my ground. I was fighting. I was competing.  That is a victory.

Lesson: In every failure there is a victory. 

Yeah yeah. trite little lessons. Calves. I'd roll my own eyes,
but I'm serious.

I had such a bad attitude going to this event, from the very first qualifier.  All my efforts at mental prep and focus and fun were real efforts. REALLY. I did try. But they were feeble compared to what was beneath.
The fear and the negativity were way bigger than I realized.... like the depths of an ice berg.

 (side note: Check out Mentality WOD! I need to spend more time with Dawn's freakin awesome material.)

Having this experience has been really incredible, because despite all the negativity. the difficulty. I did it.
I went, I worked, I laughed, I cried, it's over.
and now I can look back and say...


4) Yes, I did. I competed with games competitors.
not only did I show up at the same event with them, I QUALIFIED to compete with them.
AND I even beat a few of them on one event.  In a way, this was way bigger and cooler than regionals because it was top competitors from all over.

Yes it was hard.
So what?
It's going to be hard.
It's always going to be hard.
Even if I were the best in the world; this crossfit stuff we do, is not easy for anyone.
It's not supposed to be, and
That's a big part of what makes it worth it.
But getting my head out of my own anxiety and expectations about how I compare to everyone else and even how I compare to my own idea of who and what I should be is an absolute necessity for progress.

Lesson: Let your competition be your inspiration - every one of them is fighting.  Learn how they do it!

I have stood in line with Kris Clever at a few events over the last few years. Watching her attitude across the board has really convicted me about my own attitude, disposition and demeanor toward competition. I am so grateful for that experience. And in this particular competition to see Andrea Ager, Lyndsey V, Taylayna Fortunato, Gretchen Kittleberger and so many others in their zone was a great opportunity and inspiration. I love being part of this sport. 

Let it Count.

" When is the last time you wrote down all the things that you are proud of, that you've overcome, that you once couldn't do but now you can? "

Dawn Fletcher, inspirational coach extraordinaire, posed this question maybe a week or two ago, and I had to admit to myself it's been MONTHS at least.

I don't take enough time to count my blessings and let myself be proud of what I've done...
This is a tough exercise for me. I so often dismiss the victories almost as soon as they come, but I'm going to own it! 

1) I have been busting my butt in training. And almost everyday I think of how much more I need to do and how much deeper I need to dig if I'm going to do this.  And I've spent more time being discouraged that my max efforts are not where I want them, over being grateful that I get to workout every day. But you know, I AM proud that I am pouring my heart into my dreams and doing the work. I am giving my all, no matter how "my all" varies from day to day.

2) I have made gains in all my lifts pretty much weekly. I've never back squatted 220 for 3x3 or deadlifted 225 for 3x5 or deadlifted 260 for 2 reps. I'm pushing new limits. I'm proud of that.

3) I'm making room for a relationship in my life. Opening my heart to let myself be loved.  Working to be honest and open. This is a big "overcome" for me.  Another great step towards a goal I sort of stopped pursuing or believing was attainable.  I'm proud of that. and grateful.

4) Last month I visited my family.  A place where boundaries barely exist and structure has long been out of reach.  But this trip I made it a point to make a schedule.  To set limits. To take care of myself.  And this freed me to really enjoy my time there with out regret. 

5) I'm also going to add a little recap of the last 6 months accomplishments that I couldn't do but now can!

Handstand walks. Balanced headstands.  Muscle ups. Handstand pushups. 

6) I have done a lot of interior work in the last year.  Choosing to fight belief systems that are holding me back from grace.  This takes a lot of courage and humility.  I'm proud of that.

7) Also last month, I entered a competition and I took first place. I dismiss it for being a small competition, but who cares?  It IS something to be proud of.  Another day it may not happen, but why should that rob me of that moment in time that I gained a victory.

So, when's the last time you listed all the things you have accomplished, have overcome, are proud of?  I hope we both take time to remember and celebrate it!

Comparing a Year's Progress

August 2011 goof off striving for athleticism Height:   5'4"  Weight:  142 Clean & Jerk:      140 Snatch:              100 Deadlift:            245 Back Squat:        200 Bench Press:       135 Thruster 130# 100 unbroken doubles unders Fran 4:07 rx 30 unbroken pullups Some goals to be practiced and mastered: Handstand walk 10ft 1 muscle up 250# deadlift sub 6:30 mile 10 handstand pushups to abmat 1 Handstand pushup to full depth Wallballs & boxjumps (because I suck at them. really.)

August 2012 Individual SoCal Regional Competitor Height:   5'4"  Weight:  143 Clean & Jerk:      163 Snatch:              127 Deadlift:            275 Back Squat:        235 Bench Press:       145 for 3x5 Thruster 130# - no clue if I’ve still got this. Probably. But I HATE thrusters. Fran 3:47 rx 30 unbroken pullups… I think I got 29 last time I tried :/ Some goals to be practiced and mastered: Handstand walk 10ft- pretty sure I’ve done this. 1 muscle up – Holla, every week! 250# deadlift - done sub 6:30 mile – not a chance 10 handstand pushups to abmat- forget the abmat, bust out the DB’s for deficit 1 Handstand pushup to full depth – got it. Wallballs & boxjumps- no longer a problem.

What happened while I was busy training?

It's been over three years since I first walked through the doors of my local crossfit gym in Rio Rancho NM, just after my 30th birthday.

I don't know if I could do a single pullup.  I certainly remember starting out with the big black band for assistance.
I had never really had any experience with a barbell, and wasn't eager for a closer acquaintance.
I would go to the gym in the middle of the day, when the fewest people were there, so it was less intimidating.

I certainly remember being intimidated.
I remember the first time someone stayed through the class to cheer and encourage us.
I remember how this attention and care strengthened me.

Crossfit. We sweat together. We suffer together. We dig for our best together.
A lot has been written about it. Why we love it, why it becomes part of our lives, but that is not what this post is about. This post is just a reflection back on the beginning and stepping outside myself to look at today. 

I had no idea in the beginning how much I would suffer, how HARD I would fight, how much I would risk. 
I also had no idea how much I would gain.

Today,
I'm that girl.
That girl that totally intimidated me.
That girl that awed and wowed me.
That girl with those muscles and definition I dismissed as genetics when I saw them on others.
That girl throwing up crazy amounts of weight for a 3x5.
That girl straining and grunting like the boys.
That girl I never thought about being,
but that girl I AM.

Somewhere along the way, I decided I LOVED this stuff. I loved pushing my limits every day. 
I didn't think or bother to care about WHAT I'd become if I threw myself in the crucible of digging for my best....
If everyday I disciplined my mind and body to pursue this training.
To push when I wanted to give up.
To show up when I wanted to stay home.
To add that extra 5 lbs on the bar, full range of motion on a squat, full height on wall balls, that extra rep, that extra pull.
one day after another.

It's amazing what happens when you take a chance on desire. over. and over. and over. again.
The WHO you can find is pretty amazing. I catch a glimpse every now and then of what is happening while I've had my head down the hole of sticking to the program of my training.

I've become
That girl who hopes.
That girl who believes.
That girl who doesn't fear failure.
That girl who doesn't settle for excuses.
That girl who doesn't settle for the easy way out.
That girl who doesn't quit.
That girl who lives.
That girl who risks.
That girl who shrugs her shoulders at the odds not in her favor.

I'm still me. I'm just more powerful, walking a little more fully in God's glory,  a lot more real... and over a 1000 steps closer to who I was created to be.  and wow. It's a cool view to take in.
Just for a moment.
Drawing encouragement.

Before returning to being that girl. just doing what is hers to do. today.

Tough and Dusty

Ok, so it is a "Tough Mudder" I'm reporting on.


I did my first Tough Mudder!!
It was tough. And a little muddy. But mostly dusty (seriously, breathing in all sorts of dust and at times not even being able to see 5ft in front of me for the stampede of people through the dirt), AND a Heck a lot of steepness to climb and descend.

one of the many motivational signs along the way...

The course was at Snow Valley near Big Bear, CA. 

It was 10.5 miles-ish. Ranging from 6000-8000ft.

with about 13 obstacles, while in between them

we traversed up and down ski runs, sans snow.

It could have been much worse. Can't it ALWAYS be worse?

But I think was more than satisfied with the toughness of the day.

Will I do another?  Umm... not sure about that yet.

BUT. It is so cool to have been done.

There are some things about this challenge (it's not a race, they say) that are different to me.
1) It lasted forever.
2) It was a team effort, which is part of why it lasted forever.
3) It may have been the biggest, longest challenge in one stretch that I have ever faced.


By forever, I mean 4 hours. 
If I had done this on my own I think it would have taken about 2.5ish.
The super spartan had nothing on this course.  It was a very different experience, though for appearances I would think it should be very similar.
Actually the guys that brought our team together had done a tough mudder in February, at the same location I had done the Super Spartan last year -Vale Lake near Temecula.  I asked them how this one compared to their last.  They responded that in terms of difficulty, "If this is a 10, then February's was a 5".  Well that makes us all pretty bad@ss don't you think?


Secondly, team effort.  I have never really run a race as a team, but again "it wasn't a race, but a challenge." 
Years ago, I was always behind the group in our 5K runs. We all just went at our own pace and regrouped at the end. In the last few years, I've generally been ahead of my comrades.  I've felt a little guilty about this. Like a Jerk really. Guilty about leaving them behind.  But then I never felt guilty or resented my friends when I was the one left behind.  So maybe I need to just lighten up on myself.  We all owe it to ourselves to be our best.  Not to hold back from what we can accomplish for fear of making others feel bad.

(And this is when I get all introspective)

But then where is Christian charity and compassion in that? 
I suppose there is a time and a place, and a competition is not the place?
But then, I feel like I am competing everyday, and in that,
I fear I am becoming self centered.
But I also feel I do owe it to myself, and to others who would be inspired, to TRY to be my best.  After all isn't the glory of God man fully alive?  Isn't holiness being the best version of ourselves - journeying with Him to discover what that is?

Somehow, there must be a marriage of these two callings.  Being free to drive and strive and shine, and being free to serve and humble oneself, sacrificing my own desires for others.
I just don't know how that is to be. yet.

So a team effort this was, at least in the sense that we left no man behind.  We regrouped at every obstacle and water station.  Since of course I felt I needed to prove I could hang with the toughest of the boys and to prove somehow to my coach that this was a worthy challenge, I stayed pretty near the front of the group, and just got more rest while we waited to regroup.  Other than this, the boys helped me over the walls, and we rallied and encouraged each other, and we finished together. 
This was different for me.  It was a little weird too, since I had just met 12 of my 13 teammates that morning. Still it's cool to be a part of a whole. And it must be good for me to lay aside my drive to just go go go on my own - 
To try to be a little more cooperative and play well with others :)

The truth is in all things I need to know I have a crew of support behind me, to lean on, to pray for me, to believe in me, and to catch me when I fall.  And I love being that for others.  But in our own ways, in our own battles, generally we're not side by side but the support is no less real. 
In all this long journey of life, I still don't really know how to be with people and be true to myself at the same time. What's the trick? 

I think I'm learning, and yet, I clearly still have some lies in my head that need to be knocked out.

Final observation: biggest longest challenge yet... hmm... well I've hiked mountains before, for longer distances, and greater heights.  I've also walked 500miles across a whole country before. But all of those seemed to be at a much more casual pace with more reflection along the way, more of a retreat than a challenge, so it's different I suppose.

With every adventure I'm growing more comfortable with being uncomfortable.  More resilient to muscle fatigue. And I have more experience of victory to combat my belief system from youth that says "I'm not an athlete, I don't win anything, I just blend into mediocrity."  I've said this many times and probably will have to repeat it many more, but it's about time I started believing in myself.

All in all, this was another step to challenge my will, and to do it in solidarity with thousands around me.
Pretty cool stuff.
OH, and I came down full blown strep throat within 3 days of this adventure... so Hey, either the germs were already building within as I conquered this challenge, or I picked them up along the way.  ewwww.

Oh so many more thoughts and insights to the experience but these are the biggest musings in the last few days. What adventures are you having these days?

Waiting & Wishing & Hoping & Dreaming... with Muscle ups

Hold the gasoline friends, because I am on FIRE!

Seriously. I've crossed three more goals off my list since posting last week, including the ever elusive muscle up!

It's not pretty, and I know it wouldn't count in competition, but so what! It's a huge step forward!

I'm not going to lie.  I turned into super sad sauce after this victory.  Which of course led to some introspection, because why should a long hoped for accomplishment make me sad???

I realized that there's a part of me that never thought it would happen.  There's a part of me that believes my hopes and dreams will never be accomplished.  And this victory brought that broken hearted part of me to the surface.  The part I hold quietly tucked in the corner, not wanting to give a voice.  The part that has been afraid to dream, to aspire, to love, to risk.  I think it was good for me to let that part of my heart break, or just to express it's brokenness, and to let it be consoled by a dream fulfilled, one goal accomplished that has been a repeated failure for 2 yrs.

Dramatic? meh. maybe, but that's my heart for you.

It was one way that God was telling me my heart matters to Him - in a way, through experience, he let my heart feel the reality of a truth my mind accepted on faith long ago:

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11

He is with me.  The littlest things matter to Him. It's not about winning; it's about believing, and about becoming whole. Wholey who I was made to be - holy.

So.. carrying this theme out into other areas of my life- particularly my single state - there is someone for me.  I will find him.  God is not holding out on me, or punishing me for past sins.  He's preparing me for the best. 

When I heard this song, I kind of thought it will be the theme song when I finally find that some one.   "I have died every day, waiting for you."  Every day that I've chosen to be chaste, to be patient, to not settle, I died to a cheaper desire... hoping and trusting that I will receive the real thing one day.  I am waiting for an authentic love, and my best friend.  I love him, even though I don't even know him yet.  And some days it does feel like I've been waiting 1000 yrs.

In the meantime, I get to see the fruit of my effort and labor and sacrifice in the crossfit world each day... there's something tangible.  Here's my mantra against all the thoughts that tell me I'm going to blow it, that I'm not enough, that it's all going to fall apart....

Watch me :)



Follow up on Crossfit Goals 2012

We all have our ups and downs.  Our "on" times and "off" times, but I'm rejoicing in setting my mind and choosing to "not let victory go to my head, nor failure go to my heart." - and from that place of power watch limits and walls break before me.

I received a challenge at the beginning of this year.  Blind sided, my personal goals for the crossfit games season changed.   At first, the thought of trying to qualify through the crossfit open for regionals as an individual was laughable.  Literally, I LAUGHED when a teammate and coach said they'd like to see me make it on my own. 

Then I set my heart on it.  I dared to hope and put it out to the world that I wanted and was aiming for something so bold - top 60 in SoCal. 
In making this delcaration, and as we began the open, I surrendered my paralyzing fear of failure.

If I don't make it, so what?  I will be better for having tried.  I will be better for having put my heart out there and laid it all on the line. At least I will know that I did all that I could, and I will be stronger than ever before. So if I fall flat on my face and finish last in the end of this, but I fought to give my all, to be my all, to not play small or hide.  I will be no less glorious than if I finish first.

And presently, I am so thrilled and so humbled by where this journey, and  the daring to surrender the fear of failure, has taken me. 

It is with great excitement that I give my progress report for my 2012 crossfit specific goals.  Only two months into the year I have crossed off 8 goals!!  Several of these have been walls I kept running my head into for the past year or more... Hello handstand pushups!  I still have so much to improve, but seeing progress is a great encouragement.

I added a few to the list (in red) from my initial goals.

2 Months into 2012 Crossfit Goals: 

Shoulder Press 100#  (5 more #)

Deadlift 265#

Back Squat 235# (5 more #)

Squat Clean 160#, but if I can power clean it, I'll take that too! (5 more #)

Jerk 155# (10 more #)

Snatch 115# (5 more #) I got 120# !!

400m run 1:10

500m row 1:50
500m row 1:45

2 Handstand Pushups full ROM

1:20 Hanstand Hold (wall)

1 Muscle up on rings

4 Bar Muscle ups

25 hand release pushups

Max pullups 35

Max ringdips 15
Max ringdips 20

Hanstand Walk 5 ft.
Handstand Walk 3 yds.
Max L sit 45 sec
Max L sit 60 sec
Top 60 in SoCal for the Crossfit Open

Break out of that Box

Last weekend I ran in the San Diego Diva Dash - 5K obstacle fun run.
It was colorful. It was girl time - get out and move fun!  It was beautiful to see so many ladies encouraging each other and uniting to help each other through this accomplishment.

And it IS an accomplishment. Getting up and running 3.1 miles is something most Americans probably don't even try to do.  So way to go Divas, getting your dash on!

The size of our goals isn't so important. 

It's that we have them, and that we keep striving for them.

For me, I wanted to win. I'm not a runner - I'm a crossfitter.  But I believe crossfit equips me pretty well for most other athletic endeavors.  There was certainly some draw to just running with my friend and enjoying moving on a Saturday morning... But I just can't do it.  It's a race. If I pay for a race, If I have a chip timer, I must at least try to see how fast I can do it. 

I didn't win, but I finished in the top 2%.  That really is stellar.

What is really stellar also is that I had the courage to hope - to say - I want to win.
I never win, but I never will either if I don't set my sights on it.

We hear that sort of motivational talk from athletes all the time.  How often do we just dismiss it. just a little bit. with the notion, that there is something about them that we don't have, and never will?

3 years ago I ran a 5K in Daphne, AL.  I remember during the last mile seeing the "top finishers" jogging their "cool down" back our direction.   I was incredulous, questioning their sanity and humanity.
For me, a race had always just been the insurance that I would actually finish the distance, but by this point in my journey, I had completed a sprint triathlon.  I was on the the up, starting to feel like more is possible, but seeing those "real runners" seemed to negate my journey at the time - but no doubt they have a journey of their own.

I have a bad habit of thinking that people who are elite at what they do, were pretty much genetically programmed and nurtured to be that way.  Therefore I have no chance.   Lie.  What lies are you telling yourself?

In highschool I ran cross country for a season, my senior year.  Our races were only about 2 miles, so no time for numb feet, but do you know that I would actually WALK. yes, in the RACES.  as soon as I was behind the cover of some trees or something, I walked.  15 years later, I'll pick up and run 2miles just to relax and recover.

It's all relative. Today, if I set out to do a race longer than 5 miles, you better bet, my goal would be just to finish, and/or to not walk. Depending on the distance.  But given time I know I could be prepared.

What's the difference between me then and me now?  Time. Training. Patience. Desire. Determination. and Choosing not to let any one define what I will be capable of... starting with myself.

Did someone say M&M's?

I love love love M&M's!  not the plain ones. Boring!   I love peanut m&m's and peanut butter m&m's and even pretzel m&m's and coconut m&m's....

actually I had a little binder and ate one four bags of the little devils the other weekend.  

This got me thinking.  How bad are they really? (well ... I did come down with a fever and cold and general misery. ahem. but I'm sure that's another story.)

Why don't I compare them to raisins and walnuts, on which I munch all day when I'm being 'good'?

Did you know???

one cup of raisins has 98g of sugar while a cup (8oz) of peanut M&M's has 112g

one cup of walnuts has 76 g of fat while a cup of peanut M&M's has 64g 

one cup of walnuts has 18g of protein while a cup of peanut M&M's has 27g protein

Roughly speaking in six handfuls of raisins/walnuts I'm getting 50g sugar, 40g fat, 20g protein. 

While two bags of peanut M&M's will give me 50g sugar, 26g fat, 10g protein.

That is crazy.  

so walnuts and raisins are:

1) natural and relatively unprocessed

2) higher in protein

But if I'm going to get all that fat and sugar, why not eat peanut M&M's??!!  They are so delightful right??

Until my performance in the gym declines, I get sick, and I start bringing back the winter layer... BOO!

So If I'm being "good", aka eating clean, my muchy indulgence is raisins and nuts, and if I'm not... well peanut M&M's are on the list.  What's your weakness? Do you avoid it?  What's something delightful you've found that's still good for you?

Something off the bucket list

Allow me to share that I have never touched a gun in my life.  But like I approach life, I thought, "ooh that's fun!  I want to go shooting!"  Today was the day, my friends.   Not too shabby, if I say so myself.

The true story: I jumped every time a gun went off in the range.   I held my earphones tight.  I jumped when I shot too.  I got sweaty palms.  It was stressful.  But I think I adjusted pretty well after about 3-5 rounds.

A friend was teaching me. He did a great job, obviously, I mean look at it!  He tried to help my posture, and help me relax, but poor guy, I couldn't help but think, "you are not so smart to try to get close to me when I have a gun in my hands, buddy."  Don't worry, I didn't shoot him.