Starting Line ... WHOLE 30 time

A year ago I did my first, and really only, Whole 30.
It got me so excited that I started blogging, if this can be really called blogging. But still, shocking!

With a year of perspective, I have some observations:


1)  I didn't do it right the first time - I was "super strict" but there are still some concessions I made, the most outstanding of which is GUM.  I am a gum junkie - seriously I was up to a pack a day not long ago.  Following from this:

2)  While round one was super healing and helpful and hopeful... an overview of my YEAR shows that my relationship with food wasn't transformed.
I believe that deep rooted habits and addictions need to be attacked several times before we are fully healed of them.  Even then they may rear their ugly heads from time to time, AND if we are not careful, we may slide a slippery slope back into addiction and bad habits.

3) Despite not following the program perfectly, I had results.  Unfortunately at the time I was only focusing on and counting the body composition results. Now I see the negative results of falling off the good food wagon have been more noticeable than the positive results.
Examples: return of allergies, random body aches, feeling like an asthmatic fat kid during any cardio activity, decreased performance, and of course less impressive body composition.

So Here's my STARTING LINE:
A year post "transformation"  I am 8 lbs heavier and a bit larger than when I met Whole 30 last year.
I have eaten really well only about 65% of the time over the course of the year - it has been peppered with some pretty heinous binges and excuses, and I am certainly suffering for it.
But suffering is a good thing... in this case it is the catalyst to put me back on track.
Dust off, reset, restart... don't overthink, JUST DO.


Some differences this year:

1)  I bought the success guide! It wasn't out last year, and I am convicted that if I 'm going to spend money on something I better make the most of it ;)  It's a great resource and is kicking me off with some new recipes - Lazy boredom has been a part of my demise.

2) I'm starting from a much worse place this time. Should I tell you how much worse??
Well I'll give you the abridged version of the last two months:

• Beginning with 2 weeks working 16-20 hour days.  Enter sleep deprivation and emotional eating.
• Leading into 3 weeks of bingeing in Spain and Italy - with little to no real exercise included. 
• I returned to compete one week later at a crossfit event, in which I finished in 31st place. Not the worst, except I qualified for the competition at 2nd place!!! Sucking so bad compared to myself = not awesome.
• Inspired by my poor performance, and determined to "get back" to par, I trained foolishly and sent an old back injury to a very bad place. 
• this led to 2 more weeks of no crossfit 
• in the midst of this I took a week away with my family, where I greeted each day with Coffee and Bailey's Irish Cream - you can guess the nutrition of the rest of the day, but if you have visions of obscene overeating and lots of cookies you are on the right track.

I stand here before the blogging world. full of inflammation. repentant. and determined to treat my body better.

WHY, you ask?
Because I love feeling healthy, strong, and energized.  Because I love being able to compete and to actually enjoy working out. Because I am worth it. Because I deserve MORE than to be driven by appetites and emotions to make choices that hurt me. Because I want to be the best version of myself. Because I want to be free.


So, confessions over. 
Penance in effect to set me back on my reformed way = Whole 30. 
No pictures until it's over.  Recipe ideas, tips, and encouragements welcomed!!