Today's musical inspiration
Contrary to the fact that she is singing about a relationship fallout... and I am walking in the most exciting relationship of my life on the threshold of forever... you know. besides that. this is the song resonating with me.
"White knuckles and sweaty palms, from hanging on too tight.
Clenched jaw, I've got another headache again tonight."
As per my last post. Life is changing. It's awesome. But welcoming the new means letting go of some of the old. Shifting. surrendering. Reassessing. ummm. I think that's called Growing.
And this is hard. Why? It means trusting that everything will still be okay if I adjust my course. The truth generally is that it turns out BETTER than okay. Better than it was.
But it's different, and for some reason (scar tissue maybe?) different is stressful and scary and takes a little extra TLC to walk through.
True Story Tangent: when I moved from New Mexico to California two and a half years ago,
EVEN though I was coming back to something familiar, that I had loved,
I was so anxious that I started jiu jitsu on top of crossfit,
AND sold my (4 yr old, paid in full) car and bought a new financed one.
Why? why do things that add stress to escape stress?
It's the distraction factor no doubt.
I cover my fear about the unknown future with lots of activity
for the present that doesn't let me think about it.
So Here today. I am possibly ever such a little bit stressed out. Don't worry. I'm coping. but my default mode is "It all depends on me" - and I relapse sometimes.
and that makes it better.
I have been pushing SO hard, for so long in my training, that it's now hard for me to shift.
Now is the time to take a different perspective.
Train less volume but higher intensity. Take more time to recover, mobilize, dial in my nutrition, and get my head straight... .
It is the time for that - we are leading in to competition season.
relaxed mental focus is the most powerful driving force.
Fortunately this is all coming together at the same time.
Lent is just around the corner and that is my ultimate reset button.
Just common sense wise my training needs to chill for this season.
Which is convenient because I don't have the time or flexibility with work to train twice a day any more.
AND I have a wedding to give just ever so little attention to... one piece at a time.
and that's fun :)
Meanwhile I'll give you the highlights of my last month which have forced me to come to this enlightened (ha) place:
Holiday travel.... OC Beatdown umm.er. I mean throwdown (more to follow on that)...
immediately leading into a week long sickness.
with a few days to spare before I flew to Brazil for a week... yay!
only to contract a latin american micro-beast in my innards. leading to another week of sickness.
Now I am 9 pounds lighter and heading to my future in laws in oregon for a long weekend.
I predict that
1) workouts in the next several days will be a victory despite the empirical outcome, simply because I'm DOING it.
2) I will enjoy my mini vacation.
3) I will be back to normal weight and routine by February 15th,
4) By the second week of the open my performance and strength will be back on track! and I will feel as great as ever.
Yes. There it is: new and simple and beautiful goals.
I will leave you with a visual snack of my time in Rio de Janeiro last week :)