Next Level Invitational Series... and such



The coolest part of pressing through a 3 part competition series = TShirts!

 This autumn was a big benchmark for me.  It was the first time I set out as an individual competitor.  Translation - I was accountable to myself to deal with my own sh*t :)  The journey of this series has been deeply meaningful to me.  I tend to want to look at stats and scores and outcomes - of course. That's exciting, but it's not the whole point. A person that is only looking at the result misses the true beauty of the apparent victory or failure. It's so sad how much they miss.

So what's the real beauty?  The whole picture.
Nothing great ever happens without opposition.

It's almost Christmas - so I'll use that example. Mary faced great opposition to say Yes to be the Mother of God Incarnate.  She was an unmarried teenager.  Her fiance was ready to dismiss her quietly - though he could have had her stoned.  She risked ridicule, judgement, public shame, and even death to say yes to the glory God wanted to bring through her.  And then there's JC, just trying to be born, and who has room for him in their inn?  Herod was so pissed about him even coming into the world that he slaughtered every male child under the age of 2, just to stomp out the threat to his own glory that was made by this "newborn king".  The family had to flee into Egypt, etc. etc. The life of Christ is filled with opposition, judgement from others, rejection, and wrong expectations.  If he had lived worrying about living up to the expectations of people, he would have never accomplished what he did - but he changed the world forever.

My dear friend Karen shared this with me
It's on my phone wall paper until it's written
on my heart.

There is so much in me that is flustered, that places my worth on things outside myself, instead I need to turn into my heart where the Lord speaks what is true and listen. 

It's not about me and them.  It's not about my coach or my team or my opponents. It's not about whether they will consider me worthy, whether they will be proud or disappointed. It's not about whether I will measure up and be enough, because whose standards are those anyway? and how often do they change? 

I want something eternal.  I want to live up to my own calling in this epic story.  To be the person I was created to be and so fill the unique place in this world that only I can fill. And that's about the journey, the fight, the day in day out determination and fortitude - The humility not to get swept up with any victory of the moment & the humility not to get beat down and discouraged by any disappointment of the moment.  It requires taking a longer view, a more grounded and focused view, pulling all the elements into the balance before casting judgement.  Because beneath it all it comes down to the Who that created me - what I am to Him, what He thinks and says about me.

The other day, I started to feel some judgement, some scrutiny - whether it was in my head or real.  It came at church, of course, from the people you expect to lift you up to whom God made you to be, but all too often tear you down instead, (because that's just what our enemy wants to see).  In that moment, I took a deep breath, looked to heaven, and closed my eyes. Do you know what I heard?  "I've got your back, Kath."

Act justly, love tenderly, repent of wrong doing and wrong thinking, leave it behind, and walk humbly with your God.

He's got your back!

In the overwhelming gratitude of that moment - it made me want to be better, to be holier.  He's got my back.  I don't need to get ugly, I don't need to be defensive.  I want to be patient. I want to be humble. I want to be kind and confident in goodness. I want to be generous in thought and deed - because I have been given so much. That's what it's all about. He's got my back.

So Next level Invitational series - Here's how it played out.



1) Sign up - I chose intermediate over advanced division since... a) I'm stumped on some necessary skillz, and b) I'm a head case at competing and never competed as an individual before.  This was going to be my test of competitor grit.

2) Beginning of August = Qualifiers. I'd been training hard for ages. I got 3rd. AWESOME.

3) For work and fun I took 3 weeks off training... working 20 hr days, eating all sorts of less than optimally nutritious choices and enjoying the best of Italy, i.e. Gelato, Wine, Pasta, Capaccino... you get the idea.



Another treasure from Karen!



4) Sep 10, 2011 = 1st event. I had 3 days in the gym, after my hiadas.  Then a hailstorm threw a wrench in the programming and gave me unexpected wod's that I was definitely not conditioned for. Result = 31st place.

5) I was fired up to regain my conditioning and get back on track -> too much too fast -> Back injury.  I was out for nearly 3 weeks resting  then rehabbing, but came back stronger.

6) Nov 12th = 2nd event.  It was all strongman type events.  I was pumped.  The confidence and joy fueled my performance.  This was the turning point for me.  I had so many mental victories this day.  So much prayer power behind me.  This is where the switch flipped. I experience freedom to rejoice in my own victories and not be ruled by the leaderboard.  As a competitor I realized I have to fight for it. No one is going to show me any mercy out there or do me any favors.  I am worth fighting to do my best.   Result = 11th place

7) I had 10 days of travel in the 28 days between competitions.  This will throw any one off.  But I also started to experience some problems with my shoulder and ankle/foot.  I worked to train smart and carefully.  Testing and gratefully seeing what my body will take, what it can do when I tell it to, and when to respect it's limits.

8)  Dec 10th = 3rd and final event.  I just knew it would be a great day.  The weather would be sunny and nice.  The workouts were varied and a decent broad range of capacity, and there was a chipper.  I love chippers. Despite this hope, I just didn't feel well all day. 
It was super exciting to have new competititors representing our box (as in November too).  I love it!  It's so exciting and inspiring to be fighting for your best beside your buddies fighting for their best.  To share one another's journey, agonies, and triumphs, is one of my absolute FAVORITE things about crossfit.  Result = 7th place

Overall standings for the whole seires - TBA



Tragical Things



source

 I find myself feeling a little like this - simply wretched.  A lesson must be learned but it's no use talking about it.  One must simply cry, bear the shame, and humbly walk forward with the consequences of impulsive acts born from emotions.
Oh Anne of Green Gables, Tomorrow is fresh with no new mistakes in it. YET. 
Things turn out okay for Anne.  I hope today that I can endure like her through the catastrophes - Head held high.

The practical relation as regards this blog today is I thrive with REAL food... treats and indulgences, sometimes, really aren't treats... I think they will make me feel special and beautiful with raven black hair, instead I end up feeling just awful, hurt, and worse off than before aka Green Hair.

“A strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done.” – Marge Piercy

This quote was posted on Crossfit 760 yesterday, under a very lovely picture of me throwing weight overhead.  Thanks for that, Casey.  I'm working on my mental toughness to be that strong woman... especially when the 'others' working against me is really just myself. This was a good reminder.

The top 20 myths of my 20's

Musing about the ridiculous things I thought about life at age 20, I wanted to make a top 20.  You know. As the title suggests. But I only came up with 5!  I could stretch it out, but I'd rather hear yours!!  What are some of your ideas at 20 that are riduculous to your current self. Can we come up with 20 things?? 

1. As I age, my gray hair and wrinkles will be the signs of my wisdom, why would I seek to change them?

2. I will meet and ride off with Prince Charming by age 24, and we will live a fairytale happily ever after, proceeding to have numerous chidren.. 7, 8, 10, 12 enough to field some sports teams.


3. I will be a master of all things domestic. Like really Martha Stewart  super star and super mom in one.  The untiring Prvbs 31 woman.


4. Older people that contradict me are just bitter about life.  I know a better way.

5.  I can totally rock some pigtails with bows in my hair. It's not juvenile. It's cute on me.

AND....?

A few words from Therese

“May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.”

                                                          ― St. Thérèse de Lisieux

Whole 30, Day 17

Day 17. It's a good day.

I have a hard time with this program - it's an emotional problem. I want to eat for comfort, for rebellion, for the freedom to stick it to everyone who tells me to be good, and do what I want to do! But that won't get me to the results I want.
Though I've been faithful to the program (minus 2 trips to the scale and 2 encounters with egg protein powder) I'm afraid my heart toward food is not being changed.  I'm not getting the message yet.

Week 1 was good. I was thrilled to be eating well again.  Encouraged by the Success Guide (including a physical handheld variety of mostly new recipes).

Starting Line ... WHOLE 30 time

A year ago I did my first, and really only, Whole 30.
It got me so excited that I started blogging, if this can be really called blogging. But still, shocking!

With a year of perspective, I have some observations:

What's the Problem?

Friends, I'm thinking about my life, as usual. And hoping you might help me assess and maybe share your own stories or gain insight for your situation? Ever wonder why are you where you are in your life? 

I am single. Pretty much always single.  This is surprising sometimes, and sometimes, not at all.  And even though all I have ever aspired to be is a wife and a mom - I remain single so,
The question is "what's the problem?" What do I do to fix it?  Do I even want to fix it?  While I want to love and be loved, want a companion in life, I see a few setbacks.

Stats & Goals

Friends, I've put on some pounds... which is part of why you don't see my tummy much these days ;)
The quest for raw leanness really takes second place to my quest for crossfit super star performance.  And while I have added some lbs to the body... I've added even more to the barbell!  So I'll deal with it. Meanwhile, here's an update.

goof off striving for athleticism
Height:   5'4" 
Weight:  142

Clean & Jerk:      140

Snatch:              100
Deadlift:            245

Back Squat:        200

Bench Press:       135

Thruster 130#

100 unbroken doubles unders

Fran 4:07 rx

30 unbroken pullups

Some goals to be practiced and mastered:

Handstand walk 10ft

1 muscle up

250# deadlift

sub 6:30 mile

10 handstand pushups to abmat

1 Handstand pushup to full depth

Wallballs & boxjumps (because I suck at them. really.)

What is the point of all this?

"Sport, properly directed, develops character, makes a man courageous, a generous loser, and a gracious victor; it refines the senses, gives intellectual penetration, and steels the will to endurance. It is not merely a physical development then. Sport, rightly understood, is an occupation of the whole man, and while perfecting the body as an instrument of the mind, it also makes the mind itself a more refined instrument for the search and communication of truth and helps man to achieve that end to which all others must be subservient, the service and praise of his Creator."

– Pope Pius XII,
Sport at the Service of the Spirit
July 29, 1945

I never considered myself an 'athlete' - I've always loved to play, but I've never been noteworthy at anything. 

BUT I do spend and extraordinary amount of time training and now competing, though I am not 'elite',  I am not a professional.  Crossfit started for me as just another fitness program, but I am awakening to discover myself as a respectable athlete within a fitness community.  No, this is not the NFL or Major Leagues, or the Olympics.  But this is my life.   My life has been revolving in an increasing way around the sport of crossfit.